Where do we go from here?
by sileas maxwell
Summary: PostChosen, Giles gets a letter that may change their lives. The Slayer spell has some interesting sideeffects. BF, WK
1. Chapter 1

Title: Where do we go from here?

Author: Sileas

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: B/F, W/K

Disclaimer: Joss is God, he's the genius behind this, he owns all. The song is Crazy for This Girl by Evan and Jaron

Distribution: If you really think this is that good, just ask. Post-Chosen, Giles gets a letter that may change their lives. The Slayer spell has some interesting side-effects.

Feedback: I'm a musician, it's what I live for.

Author's Note: this is mainly in Faith POV, but it will go into Buffy or Willow occasionally. I never saw the end of season 4 of Angel, so I'm not sure with all the details of what happened. So not all of them will be right, probably, but just bear with me.

"We have a lot of work ahead of us," Giles says as we all gaze into the hole of what was once good ol' SunnyD. I, along with every other person standing there, turn and look daggers at the former Watcher.

"Can I push him in?" I ask hopefully, trying to restrain myself from punching him. Can this man ever think about anything but work? He's like the Energizer Bunny on speed or something.

"You got my vote," Red chimes in, grinning at me. I knew I liked that girl!

"I just wanna sleep, yo. For like a week," I yawn as I stretch; there seemed to be a muttered agreement among the others.

"I guess we all could," Dawn says wisely, like she was the oldest and most experienced one here. "If we wanted to."

"Yeah, the First is scrunched, so…" We all slowly turn to Buffy, the ball is in her court now. "What do you think we should do, Buffy?"

"Yeah, you're not the one and only Chosen anymore," I say thoughtfully, grinning at her wickedly. "Just gotta live like a person. How does it feel?"

She just looks at me, she smiles a little, but her eyes are sad. Whenever I say something like that, she looks at me this way. It basically means: 'I've never been the one and only, not since you've been here.' Then her smile fades and she just looks at me thoughtfully. Yeah, I know exactly how it feels: empty, and lost, like we no longer had a purpose, and in a sense I guess that's somewhat true.

"Buffy?" Dawn asks, pulling us both out of our shared moment of thoughtfulness, we have so few of those. "What _are_ we going to do?"

Everyone looks at her expectantly, like she's all-knowing now, or some shit. She just shrugs and looks around at all of us. Her eyes stay on mine for a while, as if I could fill her in on some big secret of life after slaying, then she looks down into the crater and shrugs again.

"I really have no idea," she says finally. Then she looks back at me and smiles. "But I'm thinking, whatever it is, it can come after sleep."

We all just stand there for a few more minutes, replaying the events of the day in our heads, or at least I was, I really can't vouch for the others. Then Robin limps over, hand still over his stomach. That fucker!

"I don't mean to break up your little kumbiya moment, but we should probably get going; some of us need to get to a hospital," he says, looking at me. I can't believe that this guy faked being dead to try and surprise me. I mean, how low can you go? What a bastard!

"Nah, the girls are Slayers now, they heal quickly," Buffy laughs, but Robin just glares at her. "Fine, don't get your panties in a bunch, Robin. We'll drop you and whoever else needs it off at the nearest, above ground, hospital. But I really need to get to LA; I promised Angel I'd meet him when this was over."

"Thanks for letting me come with ya, B," I say as I start the engine. I'm so glad Giles left his car here; gotta love that man, always thinking ahead. "I don't think I coulda spent another second with Andrew's continuous whining. God that boy just doesn't know when to shut up. Tell me, why did you let him live again?"

Buffy just chuckles slightly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But we did kinda need him to help us." I give her a puzzled look. "Ok, so I can't think of exact reasons at the moment, but I'm sure there are some."

We laugh again as I start to pull out, then I roll down the window and shout at Red and Ken standing all nice and cuddly on the side walk. "Hey Brat, you gonna get in or are we leaving you two here with the others?"

They walk over to the car slowly, still hand in hand. Ken tries to open the door, but I hadn't unlocked it yet. I laugh, but she just gives me one of those looks. I do the quick unlock, lock thing that Dawn had taught me to annoy B with. Me and B start cracking up, but Ken doesn't seem so happy.

"Hey, this isn't fair," she whines, and B elbows me hard in the arm.

"C'mon Faith, stop messing around, we gotta get to LA before too late."

"Fine," I give in reluctantly, unlocking the door. Ken opens it and lets Will in, then shuts it and goes around to the other side. Ah, stupid girl, I can't resist that temptation. She goes to open her door, but of course, it's locked again. We all start laughing again, except for Ken, who just pouts. "Jeez Brat, I was just kidding ya," I say as I let her in.

"Buffy, can't you tell her to stop calling me Brat, and tell her to behave," she whines as she gets in.

"Hey, I have no control over Faith."

"You got that right," I shout, smiling brightly. "I ain't no one's woman."

"Yeah, ok Faith, whatever," B laughs.

Now we're driving through LA; well, not really driving, so much as sitting in this hot as hell piece of shit car moving a couple of inches every minute or so. I swear, we may be hot chicks with super powers, but we have the worst timing in the world. We managed to blow up SunnyD just in time to make rush hour down here. No, wait, LA is in a continuous state of rush hour, I almost forgot.

Will and Ken are all cuddly in the back, I do the occasional hand check just to annoy them. I threatened to have one of them switch places with B, but they knew I wouldn't go that far. I'm not gonna stick B in the back, I like her right where she is.

B starts rambling on about something, but I'm not really sure what she's talking about, traffic just started moving again, so it kinda gets my full attention at the moment. She rolls the window down to let in a semi-refreshing breeze. Someone should tell Giles that if he's gonna get a car in So-Cal, it should at least have working AC.

This is odd, suddenly this song pops into my head. The first couple of lines kinda seem like what just happened, but I can't remember the lyrics, or the name, or anything. I hate when that happens.

"Hey Faith?" Ken pops her head up front, I nod to show she has my attention. "Can I turn on the radio?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat." Whatever floats your boat? What's that supposed to mean anyways? But whatever.

She wedges herself between our seats and starts messing with the tuner til she finds something other than static.

"Dude!" I jump as the song comes on, the others look at me all puzzled. I guess I should explain my little special moment. "Uh, I was just thinking of a song, and it was this song," I get out before the first verse starts up.

'She rolls the window down

And she

Talks over the sound

Of the cars that pass us by

And I don't know why

But she's changed my mind'

We all start to sing along as they break into the chorus.

'Would you look at her

She looks at me

She's got me thinking about her constantly

But she don't know how I feel

And as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl'

Half way through the chorus, Will stops singing and just looks at me thoughtfully in the review mirror and smiles a little.

"Yeah, I like this song, but I haven't heard it in a while," Ken gets in quickly before the next verse starts.

'She was the one to hold me

The night

The sky fell down

And what was I thinking when

The world didn't end

Why didn't I know what I know now'

Suddenly the station goes all staticky again. "Stupid radio, stupid car," I shout as I hit the dash board. Yeah Faith, right, like that's gonna help this piece of junk.

"What made you think of that song, Faith?" Will asks, still looking at me in the mirror with a slight smile.

"I dunno really," I shrug. "I kinda just popped into my head."

"That's interesting," she says thoughtfully, then goes back to cuddling with Kennedy in the back.

Ah, now I remember the rest. I hum it to myself, as the others go back to what they were doing.

'Right now

Face to face

All my fears

Pushed aside

Right now

I'm ready to spend the rest of my life

With you'

So true. I turn to look at B, who's now looking silently out the window. But yeah, right, like it could ever happen.

"Faith," Buffy says, turning back to me, and I suddenly get this hopeful feeling, I don't know why. Then she points to a sign down the road a ways. "We have to get off in two exits." See? What did I say, it ain't never gonna happen.

"I know where I'm goin' B," I reassure her. "I was here just a couple of months ago, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just find a way to get over three lanes in four miles," B says, smiling over at me.

"It's wonderful that Angel's letting us stay at his place until we can figure out what we're doing," Red says thoughtfully.

"Well he does kinda owe us, Red," I shrug and put on my blinker. "Especially me and you. And then I don't think he would ever say know to B over here; she has him wrapped so tightly around her finger, I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off yet. You and vamps B, I don't think I'll ever understand."

"What makes you think you need to understand me Faith?" B says, folding her arms across her chest and looking at me like she was daring me to answer that. When I didn't, she went on. "And why does he owe you two any more than me?"

"Well, B," I start to explain, then a guy decides he'll be nice and let me in front of him. "We did kinda save him from himself."

"I've done that so many more times than you have," she shoots back. Great Faith, way to piss her off. I know I should drop it, but it's me and I don't know when to let something go.

"Hey, I went in a coma and almost died to save him; twice. From what I heard, when Angelus showed his ugly head in SunnyD, you just sent him to hell." What Faith, do you have a death wish or something? You know not to bring that up with B. She looks really pissed now, but she didn't slap me or anything, so that's an improvement. "I'm sorry Buffy, I'm stupid, I shouldn't have brought it up."

She still doesn't say anything, just looks directly in front of the car, avoiding me. Shit, I'm screwed now. Forget whether or not she'll ever like me, now it's just a question of whether she'll ever talk to me again.

"So, what's Angel like?" Ken asks. I guess she could sense the tension, and just wanted to get us all talking again.

"He's cool, you know. Dark and brooding, but cool," I answer her while smiling in the review mirror.

"So, kinda like you then?" she asks me.

"What are you trying to get at K?" I ask in mock anger. "I am NOT like Angel."

"Nope, at least Angel's cool," Will suggests; great Will, thanks for that. Then Buffy laughs a little.

"But you have the dark and brooding part down pat," Buffy laughs some more. She seems to be over our little moment; that was quick.

"Thanks B, really, I appreciate it," I smile at her. I manage to make it over to the exit about a quarter of a mile before we get to it. "See B, told ya I could make it. Have a little 'faith' in me B."

"Cute Faith, real cute," Buffy smiles at me.

I just shrug in reply and take the exit.

Several minutes later, we pull up in front of the Hyperion. "Well, here we are."

"Wow, Angel's really doing well, huh?" Buffy comments as we get out of the over heating car.

"Yeah, charging for saving does that," I point out.

"Angel saves people then sends 'em a bill?" Ken asks all surprised.

"Yeah, something like that," I shrug.

"That's so cool, why don't you guys do that?"

"Because… because it's unethical," Buffy says self-righteously.

"You gotta admit Buffy, it really would've helped a lot last year," Will says.

"I heard you were flippin' burgers last year B," I smile and knock on the door.

"Please Faith, I don't need to be reminded of last year," she sighs.

"Yeah sure, whatever," I shrug as the door opens with a big green man standing on the other side. Buffy and Ken are looking at him oddly, but me and Will know who he is. "Hey Lorne, what's up?"

"Ah, you know, same old; heard something big was going down in Sunnydale though," he says with a smile. "How's my favorite Slayer?"

"In one piece, and awake," I smile and walk into the hotel. "Which is more than I can say about the last time I was here."

"Yeah, I hope this time goes better for you. LA is a nice place you know, really it is," he assures.

"I'll bet. Um, you know Willow," I say as the others follow me in. "But this is Kennedy, and this is Buffy."

"Ah, the other Slayer."

"Other Slayers," Ken points out with extra emphasis on the last s.

"Slayers?" Lorne asks, confused.

"Long story," I explain. "Angel home?"

"Oh, the big man is out. He wanted to do a sewer patrol before you all got here," he explains. "But he should be back any time."

"Cool," I smile. "What about the others?"

"Fred's down in Mexico doing research for Angel," Lorne replies. "And Wes and Gunn are out doing some recon, they should back by tomorrow."

"What about Cordy?" Buffy asks, me and Lorne just look at her sadly. "What?"

"You mean, Angel didn't tell you?" I ask. "I figured he would've filled you in on everything when he was in Sunnydale."

"What everything?" she asks again.

"Uh, Lorne, could you fill her in?" I ask. I don't know the whole story, just got bits and pieces through phone conversations with Fred, but he does.

"Yeah, sure."

"So you're saying that Angel and Darla had a son?" Buffy asks quietly after Lorne's done explaining the last year or so to her.

"Yeah, a real pain in my ass too," I throw in. Lorne and Will look at me sternly. "What? He was; that boy needed severe discipline."

"And he and Cordy?"

"Yeah, disturbing, isn't it?" Lorne shivers.

"A little, yeah," Buffy replies with a shiver of her own. "And now Cordy's-?"

"Yeah, she went a little loony at the end."

"What happened to Connor?" Ken asks.

"Well, Angel got his memory erased, and now he's just a normal kid." I look at Lorne skeptically. "Well, as normal as he can be. Anyway, he's living in a normal home now. Doesn't remember anything."

"Well, that's a depressing tale," Buffy sighs.

"Tell me about it," a voice comes from behind us.

"Angel, hey," Buffy says slowly as she turns.

"Hey Soul Boy, how's it going?" I ask as he walks over to us. "And how come you didn't stop by to say hi when you where in the 'Dale?"

"It was just a quick visit," he says apologetically. "I was going to stay and help, but Buffy wanted me here, just in case you guys didn't- well, you know."

"Again with the having more faith in people B," I say to her in mock disappointment. "That hurts real deep."

"Well, I'm sure you'll get over it," she assures me.

"So, I guess that everything is ok in Sunnydale now." Nice change of subject Angel, real nice.

"Other than the fact that it's a big crater now, yeah, everything's cool," Ken says like it's just a minor detail.

"But you're here, so that's good, right?" he asks.

"Yeah, we made it out," Buffy paused, then continued quietly. "Well, most of us anyway."

"You knew that not everyone would make it B," I try to comfort her. "We were in a war, you said so yourself; and in wars, you get casualties on both sides."

"I'll be ok Faith," Buffy tries to assure me.

"You sure?" I ask, I can't stand to see her with all this guilt. That's supposed to be my thing.

"Yeah, I'm five by five Faith." And there's a dead give away that this is still eating at her conscience. "Um, Angel, where am I staying? I kinda wanna get settled before we talk about everything."

"Yeah, it's up here," he says, pointing up the stairs. "Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Faith all have their own rooms, but you can chose any others."

"Faith has her own room?" Buffy asks almost angrily.

"From last time I was here," I point out. "It was the least they could do for me after I didn't give up on Angel."

"Yeah, I guess," she says quietly and walks up the stairs with Angel.

"Buffy, I'm sorry." Shit, I used to never say that, now look at me.

She doesn't even stop, just keeps walking up the stairs.

"Well, that went… not so good." Thank you Ken, I really needed the obvious pointed out to me.

"Ken, not now, please," I beg. I don't need her shit right now, I just hope I didn't just screw things up with Buffy. "I'm gonna go up to my room, I gotta sleep a bit."

"That's good, you should get some rest, 'cause you know, with the world saving, it makes you really tired. And now I'm babbling, so I'll stop, and you sleep," Will blushes.

"I'll have everyone sing for me later," Lorne says with a smile.

"What? What singing?" Will squeaks. Ah, this'll be fun.

"Don't worry, it's painless, I swear," Lorne smiles. "Just a little soul searching is all."

"I'm goin'," I inform the others as I slip away.

"Sweet dreams," Lorne says to acknowledge my departure.

"Yeah, I wish."

Of course, I'm not heading to my room. I'm gonna try to find where Buffy's room is. Thankfully I meet Angel on my way up.

"Angel, which room did she take?" I ask. I just want to talk to her, make sure she's ok.

"The one next to yours," he laughs. "Interesting, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess," I shrug with a weak smile. I started towards my room, then turned back. "Angel, I-I keep screwing up. I keep saying things that are just stupid. It's like I'm still trying to compete with her and I don't know why. It's just stupid."

"Faith, you'll be ok," Angel assures and gives me a pat on the back. "You're all tired and she's just over worked."

"I know, just give her time, right?" I nod, but I don't look at him. "I'm just worried, she's taking this really hard. She didn't seem to care, tried to keep her distance from all the girls 'cause she knew they wouldn't all make it. And all this time I thought she just didn't care. She's dealt with so much loss Angel, almost as much as me, and I just want her to be ok."

"She will be," Angel smiled down at me. "Faith, she's Buffy, she always finds a way to make it through."

"Yeah, you're right," I say with a fake smile. "I'm being stupid, why should I worry about the Chosen One, she's got it all under control, right? Doesn't need anyone else's help."

"That's not what I meant, Faith, you know that."

"Whatever," I cut him off with a wave. "I'll see you at dinner."

I watch Angel finish walking down the stairs and make my way over to Buffy's room. I knock lightly on her door when I get there.

"I said I'd be ok Angel," I hear faintly from the other side of the door.

"B, it's me," I say. "I just wanna talk."

"I told you I'd be fine too."

"Please, B, talk to me," I beg. No reply, so I just open the door slowly and walk in. "How are you doing, really?"

"Like I said down stairs," she tries to reassure me. "Five by five."

"Yeah, 'cause we all know what that phrase meant when I used it," I point out.

"Faith, let it drop."

"No, I know this has been hard for you, it's been hard for me," I say slowly, joining her on the bed. "Hell, it's been hard on all of us. I know you had the worst of it, I get that you've lost a lot, but so have I. I get what you're going through B; I get the loss and the pain. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here. All you gotta do is ask."

Still silence, great. Hey, can't say I didn't try, right? I get up to leave, but I feel Buffy's hand brush mine, so I turn back around.

"Thank you Faith." I just look at her questioningly. "For being here, for understanding when no one else does."

"Hey, we're the Chosen Two, right B?" I say with a smile. "We're supposed to look out for each other."

"Yeah," she says, then she laughs slightly. "It's interesting, this conversation. It kinda reminds me of when Gwen Post was here, well, in Sunnydale, and I came to talk to you."

"I'm surprised you remembered." I really am. I remember every moment I ever shared with her, of course. That one more than most, as I almost spilled my guts to her then.

"You'd be surprised, I have a great memory," she smiles at me. "I just wonder what would have happened if that conversation had gone differently."

I know one way it would've gone differently: I could've spilled my guts and you would've freaked, run off, and never talked to me again. "Yeah, but dwelling on what if's never fixed anything.

"I was gonna go sleep a bit, if you need anything," I smile and get up again. "See ya at dinner, k?"

"Yeah, sure," she smiles back. "Thanks again."

"Any time," I say and head to the door. I'm half way through the door and I get the urge to turn back. "Hey, Buffy?"

"Huh?"

I love you. "Nothing." Fuck Faith, you really need to grow a pair. It really hasn't changed, just like five years ago. "I'm sorry about the stuff with Angel. I turned it into a competition, and that was just stupid."

"It's fine, we're all having an off day," she assures. "Sweet dreams, Faith."

"Yeah, you too," I say as I leave.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: 'Ghost Story' is by Sting and 'Superman' is by 5 for Fighting

I'm running fast through a graveyard, Buffy's running a few steps ahead of me. I see a crypt in front of us, about thirty yards. I get even with her and turn my head to smile at her teasingly. She returns the smile. Then I speed in front of her and kick in the crypt door. I see her pause a second before entering: she looks over her shoulder to see if we're being followed.

As she closes the door, I grab her arm and push her against the wall a few feet over. I have my hands on her shoulders and she's looking intently into my eyes. I brush a piece of stray hair off her face and lean into her slightly. I don't hear as much as feel her inhale deeply as my face gets closer to hers, sending shivers through my entire body; then the door gets kicked open again.

What the fuck was that? I bolt awake just as the door opens.

"Faith? You awake?" Will asks as she comes into my room.

"Yeah," I manage to get out. I'm breathing really heavily right now. "Time for dinner?"

"We're going over to Lorne's club, he wants us to um," she gulps, "um, sing."

"Fun," I smile. "I'll get changed then. I'll be right down."

"Ok," she says, then leaves my room, closing the door behind her.

"Ready to motor?" I ask as I walk down the stairs to see everyone sitting on the couches in the lobby. Everyone except Buffy, that is. "Where's B?"

"Must still be in her room," Kennedy suggests. "She woke up about the same time you did."

"Oh, ok. Give me a sec," I nod and head back to our rooms. "Hey B, can I come in?"

"Yeah," I hear her answer. I open the door and see her sitting on her bed, putting on her boots.

"Wow B, nice leathers," I comment as I come in and sit next to her.

"Yeah, I stole 'em from Fred's closet," she says then stands up.

"Fred has leather pants? Well, that's a laugh," I chuckle.

Then she grabs her jacket and heads to the door. "Ready to motor?"

"Hey, that's my line," I whine.

"Yeah, I know, but I stole your five by five line," she shrugs. "So I figured why not use that one too."

"Well, let's get movin' then," I smile. "The others are waiting."

"So, how'd you sleep?" Buffy asks as we leave her room.

"I had this dream," I say, looking at the floor. "It was wicked freaky."

"Really?" she eyes me curiously. "What about?"

"Um…" I really don't think she'll like me telling her about having a dream where we almost started making out. "Nothin' important. Just freaky, that's all."

"What was freaky?" Will asks as we get down the stairs.

"Uh, nothing," I shrug. "Ready?"

"Yep," Ken says as she jumps up from the couch.

"Do we really have to do this?" Will whines.

"You know what they say Red," I comment as I go over to her, and me and Ken pick her up by the arms. She just shakes her head. "The more pain in getting there, the more pleasure you get out of it in the end."

"Really? I never heard that before," she squeaks.

"I'm sure you'll be fine baby," Ken reassures her. "You don't have to sing by yourself, we could do something together."

"Even when the musical demon guy came to Sunnydale, I managed to get away with only a minor role that required very little singing. And as a child, my mom used to want me to sing at all these social events and the one time I finally did it, I got up there and nothing came out. It was horrible, ask Xander when he gets back, he'll tell you how much I shouldn't sing." Wow, this girl is good, she can whine and babble! "If a demon can't get me to sing, what makes you think you will? C'mon guys, it's the one thing that I'm horribly afraid of, there's a clinical name for it and everything."

"If you're so afraid of it, flooding is a great way to get over it," Ken assures with a smile.

"Don't try to psych 101 me little missy! I know all the tricks, I took the class."

"Oh, come on," I say and we drag her out the door. "It'll be over before you know it. And you can get drunk before hand, won't remember a thing. I'm sure I can find a way to get you to sing; I do regret my past actions, but if the occasion calls for torture, I'm sure I still remember the basics."

"Faith, stop scaring her," Buffy scolds.

"Just having some fun, B," I smile wickedly and give her a wink. "You remember how to do that, right?"

She smiles back, "God, I hope so."

"Well, let's go have some fun then." I leave Will with Ken and head over to Buffy, draping my arm over her shoulders. "I bet I can help you remember."

"Life's all about the fun for you isn't it?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way," I say with a little eyebrow wiggle. I lead her out of the hotel and into the car with the others.

"Hey y'all!" Lorne greets as he comes over to our table. It's been a busy night; we've all had a drink already- I was on my second JD- but this was the first time he'd been able to talk to us all night. "Ready to sing?"

"Maybe after I've had a few more drinks," Will whines.

"You have to do this eventually sweetie," Ken says, rubbing her back gently.

"Whatever, let her have her drinks," I say, standing up. "I'll go sing now."

"You sing, Faith?" B asks, acting all shocked. Is it that hard to believe?

"I try," I say with a little smirk. "I can't be any worse than you, right?"

"Get your ass up there and sing already, then we'll see who the better singer is."

"You're on girlfriend!"

I pass by Lorne with a smile. "You need some background music, Sweet cheeks?" he asks.

"Nah, I got the ivories covered Big Green," I say with a wink. I head to the stage and sit at the piano. I inhale deeply a few times to gain composure then place my fingers on the keys.

Man, it's been years since I've played in front of people, but I've practiced this song a couple of times, so we'll see how this goes.

As I start playing the intro, I swear I hear B and Red gasp in surprise, but I don't let it affect me and keep going.

I watch the Western sky

The sun is sinking

The geese are flying South

It sets me thinking

I did not miss you much

I did not suffer

What did not kill me

Just made me tougher

I feel the winter come

His icy sinews,

Now in the firelight

The case continues

Another night in court

The same old trial

The same old questions asked

The same denial

The shadows close me round

Like jury members

I look for answers in

The fire's embers

Why was I missing then

That whole December?

I give my usual line,

I don't remember

Another winter comes

His icy fingers creep

Into these bones of mine

These memories never sleep

And all these differences

A cloak I borrow

We kept our distances

Why should it follow

I must have loved you?

What is the force that binds the stars?

I wore this mask to hide my scars

What is the power that pulls the tide?

Never could find a place to hide

What moves the Earth around the sun?

What could I do but run and run and run?

Afraid to love, afraid to fail

A mast without a sail

The moon's a fingernail

And slowly sinking

Another day begins

And now I'm thinking

That this indifference

Was my invention

When everything I did

Sought your attention

You were my compass star

You were my measure

You were a pirate's map

Of buried treasure

If this was all correct

The last thing I'd expect

The prosecution rests

It's time that I confess

I must have loved you

I must have loved you

Damn, that song always get to me. I'm afraid to look back at the table. I know Red gets it, she was all knowing-glares girl in the car earlier today.

I don't really notice til just now that the bar has become completely silent. Great, I knew I was crap, shoulda just let him stick on some karaoke or picked a different song or something. After what seems like an eternity, I finally hear Ken start to howler and clap, then the rest of the bar joins in. Oh, thank God!

I stand up to take a dramatic bow before leaving the stage and walk over to Lorne. "Ok green dude, what's the what?"

"The thing you've been searching for your whole life?" he asks and I nod, not really sure how this will go. "You'll find it. Now, I'm not saying it's gonna be all rainbows and shiny bottons gorgeous," what? "far from. But in the end, if you make it through, you'll get the thing your heart truly desires."

"Wow! Really?" I ask, amazed at what my future holds for me.

"Yes, you'll have to make some sacrifices, but remember," he pauses and I just look at him questioningly. "In the end the hero always gets the girl. Well, I think I've already told you too much, and you should go rejoin your friends.

"Oh, by the way, great playing up there."

"Yeah, thanks," I smile at him as I head back to our table.

Wow, he just called me a hero. That's pretty extreme. I'd never thought of myself as a hero; a fuck up, a villain maybe, but never a hero.

And what about this whole 'true desire' thing? What would happen if when the moment of truth comes for the PTB to find out what I truly desire, I'm really hungry and at that moment all I want in the world is a life time's supply of like ranch Doritos or something? Then what?

Ok, maybe I'm over thinking this a bit. All I'm sayin' is that the PTB tend to talk in riddles, and that what you think they're trying to tell ya is rarely what they really mean. But it sounds like a kinda positive thing, right?

I arrive at out table before I really notice it. "Faith, that was amazing!" Buffy beams at me as I sit back in my spot next to her. "I didn't know you played."

"Yeah, I kinda picked it up when I was younger," I shrug.

"My parents wanted me to play something. I had piano and violin lessons. It was ok, but then…" she pauses and a grin spreads across her face. I could be wrong, but I think she's having a flash back. "But then I discovered archery and fencing, and music couldn't really hold my interest anymore. Needless to say, my parents were not pleased."

I just shake my head. "Rich brat," I mutter under my breath.

"Hey! I heard that," she whines with a glare.

"The truth hurts babe," I shrug and grin at her. "And I like to tell it as it is."

"Oh, but you're such a cute brat Kennedy," I hear Red whisper to her and it makes me chuckle a little. "You're my favorite brat. Plus, the pierced tongue? Definitely a turn on."

"I told ya you'd love it," she says to her girl, a shit eatin grin covers her face.

Oh yeah, stuff's definitely gonna be going down in that room tonight. Ken's gotta be wicked horny, today being her first big battle and all. I remember after my first big slay. Damn, that was a hot night. But enough about me.

Lorne comes over to our table again. He looks over us with a smile, "alright girls, who's next?"

I look around and every one seems suddenly very interested in their drinks. Oh c'mon guys, it ain't all that bad.

"C'mon B, we have a bet, remember?"

"There's no way I'm better than you, Faith," she gives in, blushing a little. "That was, I mean, WOW! How can I beat that?"

"Oh come ON B, you never give up on a good challenge," I jab at her, then I lean in and place my hand on her forehead. "What's wrong, are ya sick? You don't got a fever."

"Oh stop teasing Faith," she huffs and slaps my hand away. "Fine, I'll go sing."

"Break a leg," I encourage as she gets up from the table and she just glares as she goes over to Lorne.

After a few words with Lorne, she walks up to the stage and picks up the mike. She suddenly looks really small, like she's sinking back into the wall behind her. She fiddles with the cord a bit before the music starts up.

I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me

Man, you gotta be kidding me. That girl has an ego like no other.

I'm more than a bird  
I'm more than a plane  
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train  
And it's not easy to be me

See what I mean? It's just nuts. Like it's not enough to have a bunch of little teenage girls and a couple of vamps hero worshipping her, she has to be all narcissistic too? Ok, so I can't really talk when it comes to worshipping B, cause I really wish I could, but she'd punch me if I tried.

I wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
'Bout a home I'll never see

I guess that's true, she did kinda just lose her home today. It makes me depressed really, realizing just how much she lost today. Her house, her lover, some of her friends, not to mention the fact that she'll never be able to visit her mother's grave ever again. Poor Mrs. S, she'd be so proud of B.

It may sound absurd  
But don't be naive  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed  
But won't you concede  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
And it's not easy to be me

I wonder what B dreams of. Does she dream of Angel or Spike? Of sleeping curled up in their cold, lifeless arms at night? God, I still don't understand that. I mean, she's supposed to kill them, it's in the job description. It's just wrong. Yeah, yeah, I know, I can't really talk when it comes to sex that's immoral, but even I have some standards. And I draw the line at no pulse.

She goes on for a bit longer, then the music fades away and the bar starts applauding her. She puts the mike back in its stand and walks over to Lorne.

I wonder what fucked up riddles the PTB have for her. Something about Soul Boy, I have no doubt. Part way through their little prophecy discussion, she looks back at me and our eyes lock for a few seconds, she looks at me curiously for a moment then turns her head back to Lorne. Well, that was a little odd.

After a couple minutes she comes back to the table, sitting down next to me again. She turns towards me a little and smiles slightly. "So?" she asks cautiously. Oh, she wants the final verdict, does she?

"You were good, don't get me wrong," I say with a wicked smile. "But I got mad skill, girlfriend! And you just can't beat the piano."

"Where'd you learn anyways?" she asks curiously.

"Oh, Nonnina wanted me to play, she said that everyone should have some kind of musical training," I say with a smile. Ah, good times those. "Said it created good discipline. Plus it was a great way for me to escape; leave reality for a bit, ya know?"

"Nonnina?" Red questions. "Was that your watcher?"

"No, grandma," I correct. "But my watcher gave me lessons as well. She had this beautiful grand in her house; it was wicked cool."

"How long has it been since you got to play last?" What are we playing, twenty questions?

"Not that long ago," I shrug. "I used to play on the keyboards at the Radio Shack in the 'Dale. The guys that worked there never seemed to mind."

They all mouth their 'ohs' and go back to their drinks.

A song and several drinks later, we find ourselves walking back to the Hyperion; I don't think any of are in any state to be driving and Lorne said he'd bring it back later. Ken and Red are a few yards ahead of us, struggling to keep themselves up right. It's quite the sight, really very amusing. They're laughing and talking about something, not sure what. Don't really care.

B started stumbling a while back, so now I have my arm around her to keep her steady. Oh damn, right? Yeah, my feelings exactly. She fought against it at first, but then I let her go and she almost fell over, so she's not really complaining anymore.

I seem to be the only one here who's not completely drunk, so I've taken it upon myself to watch for vamps and other creatures that make me get all stake happy. Thankfully, we haven't had any trouble yet, cause I'm not really sure how it'd go. I may not be as drunk as them, but I'm not sure I'd be able to hold my own against anything too nasty.

We get to the hotel, nasties free, and I start to help B get up the stairs when she stops and turns to face me.

"Faith?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad…" she slurs a bit. She's kinda cute when she's drunk. "I'm glad you came back."

"Yeah, sure," is all I got in reply.

"No, really, I am," she tries to convince me. "You've helped a lot. And today you were amazing. With the slaying. You got the girls outta there."

"It was nothing, really B," I try to brush it off. I've never been really good with the complements and praise. Yeah, humble Faith, I know.

"No, stop, I'm not finished," she shouts a little, waving her arms at me, trying to shut me up. "You surprised me, specially with the piano, and the singing. You've changed, I get that now. And I just… thank you."

Suddenly she throws herself at me, flinging her arms around me, and my face is full of her beautiful golden hair. My senses are going nuts; her skin is so soft and she smells so wonderful and I think she's starting to cry. I guess today's finally gotten to her. So much has happened and she's just been holding it in, trying to be strong for everyone. I try to comfort her, patting her back awkwardly, but comforting people has never really been one of my strong points. If you hadn't really figured that out by now.

"It's ok Buffy, it's been a long day and you're tired," I whisper into her hair. "Let's get you to bed."

"Carry me?" she asks like a little girl, looking up at me and pouting. How can I resist the pout?

"Yeah, sure B," I say. She lifts her arms so they're wrapped around my neck and I pick her up. I start to walk up the stairs and she rests her head on my shoulder. She falls asleep almost immediately, her breathing slowing on my neck. I can definitely get used to this. But it's over all to soon as I get to her room.

I shift her in my arms a little so I can open her door. I stop a minute to see if the movements woke her up, but she's still out. I turn around so I can push open the door with my back and walk to her bed. I slowly put her in her bed and take off her shoes and jacket before pulling her covers over her.

She looks even more beautiful when she's sleeping, so peaceful. I would just stand here and watch her sleep all night if I could, but I don't think she'd like that much. So I lean down and brush some hair off her face. I hesitate a moment before finally kissing her forehead slowly. "Good night Buffy," I whisper, then I stand up again to turn to leave.

Well, she thanked me for being here. It's not forgiveness, but it's something. It's a lot of something, actually. It gives the warm fuzzies. Today was a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note for part 3: in light of the revelation of Faith's real last name, I've decided-despite the fact that I'm not particularly fond of it for it- I'll use it instead of the one I was going to use.**

**Thanks to everyone for the reviews, I love it! I actually have the next 5 parts of this written, I was just putting up 2 a day in hopes that by the time I have part 7 up, I'll have the last 2 or 3 chapters done and you won't have to wait. I'll put up the next 2, you guys tell me if you want me to put up the rest right away. I've already started on at least one sequel to this. Seriously guys, this thing will keep going as long as you want it too.**

"Hey G-man! What up!" I bound down the stairs and see Giles reading a letter, and

of course, curiosity gets the best of me. So I go up behind him and put my head on his shoulder, trying to read it. But Giles being Giles, folds it up before I can read anything. "Ah, c'mon Giles, lemme have a look. Oh, nice envelope, it's all pretty and it's got a wax thingy and everything!"

"Yes, Faith, it has a wax seal. It's a very formal letter," Giles says, grabbing the envelope back before I can even see who it was from.

"Ah, G-man, you're no fun," I whine and sit in the chair next to him. "Who's it from, Giles? C'mon, at least tell me that much."

"Tell me, Buffy, was Faith always this annoying?" I look up and there's B, coming out of the kitchen in nothing but a long men's dress shirt, holding a cup of coffee. Damn she looks fine this morning! "I don't remember her being this annoying when she was evil."

"Hey! I was never evil!" Low blow G-man, low blow. But at least it kept me from staring at B for too long.

"Yup, basically."

"Oh, thanks for the support, B."

"Any time." Then she comes and sits across from me at the table, sipping her coffee. "So how much caffeine does a person need in their system to be as wired as you are, Faith?"

"None," I shrug and get an amazed look from B. "I just got up actually, no caffeine whatsoever."

"So what's with the spazziness then?"

I shrug again. "Post big battle energy getting burnt off, I guess."

"Faith, it's been a week since the big battle, the energy should be worn off by now," she says, taking my hand like she's trying to calm a child. What am I? Five? Though, if it means more of B holding my hand, what the hell.

Ok, awkward silence time. C'mon Faith, say something and stop looking at her hand on your hand. Well, her boobs, not the next best option, though I must say, they are quite nice. Oh, Faith, stop, back on track. Say something. Say anything. C'mon brain, work with me.

"Oh dear lord!" Or, you know Giles can say something too. Now with the taking off of the glasses, cleaning them, putting them back on, and apparently rereading a section of the letter. Damn, must be something important for Giles to go through that ritual.

"What? What is it?" she asks as she lets go of my hand.

"Don't even bother, B, he won't even tell me who sent it."

"Oh, don't be such a dim-whit, Faith," he says flatly, putting the letter down. Ow, that hurt! I am not a dim-whit, my wit is quite bright, thank you. "It's from the Queen, she's requested an audience with the two of you."

What the fuck? The Queen? As in THE Queen, Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen of England, Queen?

"Huh?"

"You know Faith, the Queen of England." I roll my eyes; thanks Giles, I know _who_ the Queen is, I do live on this earth, after all. What, do people just assume that because I dropped out of school, I know nothing?

"Thank you, Giles, I'm not completely unaware of the world around me, ya know. What I meant was, _why_?"

"It doesn't specify the reason, but apparently since the Council has resided in London, the Royal Family has been aware of its existence, and therefore; yours. She said that she's aware of what has taken place this year and wishes to speak to the two of you personally."

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK! Are you serious?"

Dude, this is extreme! The Queen!

"Yes Faith, but when you see her, it's best to use less colorful language."

"Hey, don't worry about me, G-man. I can do the whole, prim and proper, stiff upper lip English thing," I say, striking a pose. Then B starts to laugh; she's trying to hide it, of course, but she sucks at stuff like that, always has. I like it when she laughs, so no big. "What, B? Are you laughing at me? Are you doubting my abilities?"

I curtsy to Giles and put on a really bad British accent. "How do you do today, Mr. Giles? Would you care for a cup of tea, some biscuits, perhaps?"

"Hey, what's with the yelling down there? Some of us are still tired." I look up from my curtsy and see Willow standing outside her room, the next floor up.

"Well, some of us didn't stay up all night either, Will." Hey, that was B, not me. Why do people always assume that I'm the one that makes those comments? Ok, so my record isn't clean, but give a girl the benefit of the doubt.

I try to stifle my laugh, but obviously Red caught it. Damn, that girl has a glare that could make the most unholy demon cower in fear.

"But, anyway, now that I'm up; what's going on?" Willow asks as she walked down the stairs. "And why is Faith curtsying?"

"Oh, she's trying to prove that she can be prim and proper."

Willow starts laughing her ass off, almost falling down the stairs as a result.

"Hey! At least I _tried_ not to laugh!"

"I'm sorry, Faith, really," she tries to assure me - as she chokes back another laugh and takes hold of the railing to hold herself up right. "But why?"

"The Queen of England, apparently she wants to see us," Buffy replies casually.

"But _why_?"

Wow! Déjà vu much?

"It says here that she wants to thank the two of you for everything you've done," Giles adds, as he had read more.

"Huh," I sigh thoughtfully, slumping back down in my chair. Then I look up and smile wickedly at B. "Finally getting recognition for saving the world! How does it feel, B?"

"Kinda odd, actually, but nice," she says, beaming at me from across the table. She's so cute when she smiles like a child.

"She wants us there in ten days," Giles reads the end of the letter to us as he folds it back up. "Faith, we need to get you a passport; I'm sure Willow can find a way to-"

"Actually, I have a passport," I gulp. Fuck, they're gonna laugh at me again. "My, um, Watcher had me get one. I was 16, so I don't need to renew it or anything."

B's eyes light up again. Dude, this is not gonna be good. "Oh! Passport pics, I so gotta see this." Then she runs up stairs.

Ah, fuck! "B, don't, please!" I beg as I run up after her. Hey, a girl's gotta protect her image.

"I'm gonna see it eventually. Tell me where it is and get it over with quick and easy like," she says, popping her head out of the door to my room. "Or I'll tear your room apart looking for it."

"It's in the nightstand," I sigh in defeat. No stopping B when she wants something, might as well get this over with now, she'll probably find out eventually anyway.

I lean against the door frame as she looks through the nightstand and pulls out the little blue passport. She opens it and smiles, both her eyebrows going up. "Hey, this isn't bad. This is you at sixteen?" I just nod. Heh, she hasn't noticed yet. Her eyes roam the page a little more then they stop and get bigger, apparently she found it.

"Eh, Faith? You sure this is your passport?"

"Yeah B."

"But the name, it's…" she trails off, very confused.

"Not Faith, yeah, I know," I sigh again and join her on my bed. "Faith's not my real name."

"But Fiducia?" I cringe as she slaughters the name.

"Fee-doo-chee-ah, c is ch and i is ee," I pronounce slowly, and she just nods, I think she's kinda stunned. "It's not that far off, actually. It's Italian, it means Faith."

She looks at me oddly, obviously still confused. "My grandmother named me, she's from Italy."

"Ah," B says in understanding. "So you're Italian then?"

She looks me over from head to toe, then back up. She tilts her head and looks into my eyes, like I had somehow changed from the girl she'd met four years ago now that I have a different name. "Half. My dad's Irish."

"But Lehane sounds French?" Ah, she's cute when she's confused too. What am I saying? B's always cute.

"Nope, it's Irish."

"Faith, you've been holding out on us?" The Brat was standing in my doorway and had apparently heard most of our conversation. "A foreign name, that's kinda sexy."

"Red! Your girl is hitting on me!" I yell down the stairs.

"Faith," Ken whines and pouts her lip.

"Faith, don't seduce my girlfriend," Willow shouts from down the stairs. Oh, don't worry Red, the only thing I want in this room is blonde.

"What's going on up here?" Giles asks as he and Will enter the room.

"Oh, nothing," I say with an innocent smile.

"Faith's not really Faith." That's the Brat, of course.

"Oh Goddess, did you do a body swap again Faith?" Will asks Buffy. Great, just what I needed.

"No, God no! Why would I do something like that again?" Don't want them thinking I've slipped back into old habits.

"What Kennedy meant," Buffy made sure to put extra force into that last word while looking at Kennedy sternly. "Was that Faith isn't Faith's name." Well that just cleared everything up then, didn't it? They still look confused as hell. Well, here goes nothing.

"It's Fiducia Lehane."

"So your name is Faith, technically speaking," Giles points out. Wow, he knows Italian, I didn't think he knew languages still used by man.

"So why do you use Faith?" Buffy asks as she turns to me.

"What? You'd want to have the name Fiducia? Having a name like that in Southie would've been like a death sentence," I laugh at Buffy.

"I guess that's true, but I like it, it's kinda nice," she says, smiling back. God I love it when she smiles.

"Yeah, if I was some one's great-great aunt or something," I say smiling back. Then I turn to the other three. "And I know I'm not the 'Bad Slayer' anymore, but if any of you guys call me that, or tell anyone else about it… I will kill you."

"Oh, is that a threat?" Buffy mocks, smiling wickedly.

"No, it's a warning."

"Oh really, 'cause I think you're all talk," she teases, egging me on. "I don't think you have it in you any more… Fiducia."

"Oh, you're so gonna get it now B," I say menacingly. Of course I won't hurt her, but I do have something I can use against her that she doesn't know I know about. Gotta love Angel, he's so informative in all things Buffy.

"Really… Fiducia?"

"B, I'm warning you!"

"Fiducia, Fiducia, Fiducia!" she teases, laughing; I'm actually sort of impressed she can say it that quickly. She thinks she's laughing now, she has no idea. I really don't want to stoop so low as to use these tactics, but a girl has to protect her image.

"Ok B, I didn't want to do this, but you give me no choice," I say apologetically.

For a second, while I'm moving slowly towards her, she loses her smile and gets this fearful look in her eyes, like she really thinks I'm gonna hurt her. Then I go in for the kill- right for the stomach. According to Angel, that's where she's the most ticklish.

"Faith, stop!" Wow, she is ticklish, she can barely breathe, she's laughing so hard. "I'm-I'm sorry," she laughs out. "Just, stop, please!"

"It's too late for that B," I smile at her evilly. "You had you're chance."

"What's goin' on in here?" a voice from the door asks. "I didn't get back 'til four this mornin' and I'm really tired."

"Fred!" I shout as I turn around. I could pick out that southern drawl anywhere. I rush over and give her a huge hug. "How's it been girlfriend? Lorne said you were elsewhere's doin' research."

"Yeah, then I went to Texas for a few days, visitin' the family and all," she grins. "I hope y'all are doin' better than last time I saw ya?"

"Yeah, much," Will replies with a smile.

"You must be Buffy," she says as she walks over to Buffy with her hand extended. "I've heard a lot about you, from Angel mostly, but Cordy and Faith told me a lot too."

"Well, if that's where you got your info from, then I bet you don't like me much," Buffy replies as she looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"No, praises only, I assure you," she smiles back reassuringly. "Well, maybe not always from Cordelia, but I learned to take everything she told me with a gallon of salt water early on."

"You praised me Faith? I'm touched, really," B mocks me, making me blush. Ah, thanks Fred, that's just what I needed.

"We didn't actually get a lot of time to talk, me and Fred. I'm sure you were just mentioned in passing, you know, I probably just said you were wicked cool or something like that. I just didn't get around to telling her that you were a major pain in my ass or anything," I stop myself before I can babble myself deeper into this nice little hole I've made.

"But Faith, I remember that you said that…she…oh, never mind," Fred slows to halt, finally, as she catches my glare. A glare that said, continue and I'll make you suffer, slowly. I've gotten good at that one over the years.

We're all really quiet for a bit when all of a sudden, someone starts to giggle. I pop my head up from where it had been gazing on the floor and search for the culprit. When I spot her, I'm shocked. It's Kennedy! Wait, the Brat doesn't giggle. But she is; she looks down right giddy.

Once she notices that everyone in the room seems to be staring at her, she covers her mouth, but I can tell she still has a wicked grin on her face. What the fuck was that about?

"Sorry, it's just, it's so cute," she explains, bringing her hand back down. "Um, I think I should go."

She points out the door and quickly turns to leave, Red follows after her. I wonder what those two are gonna get up to.

"Yes, I should go too, to um," Giles pauses, taking off his glasses again. "To get things set up for the trip." Good man, that Giles, always on top of things.

Buffy seems to be rooted on the spot, still gripping my passport. She looks like she wants to bolt, but can't. I shouldn't have looked at her, ya know? She's still just in that shirt, which I so didn't realize when I was tickling her, and that's a shame really. She looks real cute, like more than normal, her hair's all ruffled and messy from the tickling, plus, the shirt's really sexy, really shows off her legs. Makes her look like she just had a real nice roll in the sack. Then I see her eyes, looking at me. Shit, how long has she known that I've been staring at her? Ok, awkward, real awkward.

"Ya know, now that I'm up, I'm a bit peckish." Who uses that word other than them crazy Brits? Maybe she's just been around Wesley too long. But hey, at least she broke the awkward moment (for now), so that's good. "What do ya say? Breakfast, on me? We can catch up and all."

"Sure, just let me change," Buffy says, excusing herself from the room. Crap, she probably caught me checking out her legs. I hope it doesn't keep her from walking around in it again.

"Yeah, sure," I agree. "Let's change, then meet down in the lounge."

"It's nice ta have ya back, Faith," Fred says as she gives me a hug.

"Yeah, it's nice to be back," I reply, patting her back awkwardly. You know me, not usually big with the hugging. Though I must say, the welcome back here's been a lot nicer than the one in SunnyD.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ah, man I'm beat," I sigh as I slump into a chair. Dude, this flat is da bomb! But I'm tired as hell; jet lag's a bitch.

"I told you not to watch all the in-flight movies," Giles scolds.

Yeah, he did; but it was worth it! Die Another Day was awesome, though that last scene isn't a great one for first time fliers. I thought that B would have to get out the tranq gun to get me to calm down. Halle Berry's hot! And that fencing looked wicked cool, I must ask Giles about training with swords sometime.

"Faith? Faith, were you listening to me?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm kinda outta it," I mumble, coming back to the real world. "What were you saying?"

"We were discussing room arrangements. Now, as I was saying: this is a two bedroom flat. Willow and Buffy can take the room with the two twins; Faith, you take the double; and I'll take the couch. Unless anyone objects, I think that'll work." He looks around and we just nod; we're all too tired to care much. "I don't see why we couldn't just use my house."

"Yeah, it's bigger, but it's in the middle of nowhere," Willow whines. "And we do want to do stuff while in England."

"Yeah, you know, like clubbing and going to pubs and drinking til we're shit-faced," I decide to join the conversation and add my two cents.

"I was thinking more along the lines of theatre and museums and cultural stuff," Willow squeaks.

"Willow, you really shouldn't lie," I yawn. Damn, I'm really out of it. "One, you really suck at it. Two, it really doesn't work with the whole pure, good girl look you're always going for."

"Hey! Are we forgetting the whole tried to destroy the world last year thing?"

"N-n-no Will, course not. How could we forget?" B says, trying to stifle a yawn, but another one hits her harder. Dude! You can see her tonsils. I think the whole thing about yawning being contagious is true. "But I'm thinking bed, now."

"I second that notion." I raise my hand as I yawn yet again.

"Notion passed," B says as she and Red raise their hands and Giles rolls his eyes. I'll bet almost anything he just said 'Americans' in that disgusted British tone under his breath.

Buffy's POV

I'm running fast through a graveyard, I can hear Faith starting to breathe heavily a few steps behind me. I see a crypt in front of us, about thirty yards. I turn my head to the side to see Faith right next to me, she smiles at me that teasing way she loves to do. Then she speeds in front of me and kicks in the crypt door. I look over my shoulder as I get to the door, whatever we were running from is out of sight. What were we running from? I can't remember exactly, but it must have been something bad, from the state we're in, we'd been running long and hard.

As I close the door, Faith grabs my arm and pushes me against the wall a few feet over. She has her hands on my shoulders and she's looking intently into my eyes. She brushes a piece of stray hair off my face and leans into me slightly. The sensation of her touch sends a shiver up my body. If I thought we'd been breathing heavily before, it was nothing compared to now. I inhale deeply as her face gets closer to mine, and then the door gets kicked open again.

Ten vamps rush through the door, and Faith turns her head to look at them, her arms still on my shoulders and her body still pressed against mine. "Damn! I thought we had lost them. Well, whadja say B, another round?" She looks back at me with the most confident smirk on her face.

She leaves me and starts fighting the first vamp before I can even say anything, so I don't and just join the fight. She dusts hers easily and moves to the next one, catching him off guard with a hit right to the nose. I shouldn't have been paying so much attention to Faith, as my vamp sweeps my feet out from under me and I land on the floor. I go for my stake which I had dropped right beside me, but the vamp knocks it out of my hand, sending it across the crypt. Suddenly he stops attacking me. He's just holding me down, I try to get out of his grip but it's as if all the strength has left my body.

"Faith! Faith, help!" I scream, but she's busy with six, no, five vamps all to her self.

"Faith, behind you," I try to shout as I see the fifth vamp come up from behind her, but nothing comes out. An instant later, the vamp grabs her from behind and holds her hands behind her back. She struggles for a bit, but her strength has seemed to have left her as well. But the vamps don't attack her like they normally would, they're just standing there, like they're waiting for something. Ok, this is getting really freakish now, and why can't I use my voice?

She's looking at me with desperation in her eyes, like if she looks at me long enough, I will suddenly be able to get up and come to her rescue. Then her eyes move up, and it seems that she's looking at something behind me. I don't think I've ever seen so much fear in her eyes since Kakistos. She moves her lips like she's trying to say something, but she seems to have lost her voice as well. Goddamn you, vamp, get up; what's going on?

She starts thrashing back and forth, franticly trying to get out of the vamp's grasp, but she can't. Then I see it; I thought I got rid of them almost four years ago. But I'll never forget that face, that smile; there's no way it could be anything else. And it's headed straight for Faith, scalpel raised. Oh God, that smile, it makes me sick. God! It's gonna kill Faith.

"No!" I scream inside, even though I know no one can hear me. "No, don't kill her. God, no. Please, Faith, don't kill Faith!"

"Buffy! Buffy, wake up!" I feel someone shaking me and my eyes shoot open. I swing my fist towards the voice defensively, and realize just in time that it was Willow. "Buffy, it's ok, it was just a dream."

"Oh God, Faith," I say as I jump out of my bed, but Will tries to stop me.

"It's ok Buffy, just a dream remember, I'm sure Faith's fine."

"No, no she isn't." I shake my head and shove Willow's hand off my shoulder. I rush out of our room and into Faith's. She's lying on the bed, thrashing violently, just like she was before Willow woke me up. "Faith! Faith, wake up. C'mon, it's just a dream."

I sit on the bed and hold her to me so she doesn't hurt herself. "It's ok Faith, I'm here," I whisper in her ear. "I'll protect you, wake up."

She gives one last jump and her eyes shoot open. "Buffy! What was that… thing?" I can feel her pulse start to slow slightly, but it's still extremely quick, and she's sweating horribly. What happened after I left? "It-it was cutting into my chest and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Oh God, it was horrible."

She's holding onto me like she still fears for her life, she seems so child like right now, I've never seen her like this before. "It was one of the Gentlemen. They came to Sunnydale while you were, um, still in a coma. They stole all our voices and cut people's hearts out. I had hoped that I'd never see them again," I say quietly, gently caressing her forehead, trying to calm her some more. She's still shaking slightly when Willow enters the room with Giles.

"Are you two ok?" Giles questions softly, I nod slowly and look down at Faith, who doesn't really do anything. She's still in shock from what had happened; it might have been a dream, but it seemed so real. "Was it prophetic?"

"I-I don't think so," I shake my head. "I mean, I've had it before, well part of it anyways. Every night since we left Sunnydale. But this is the first time it's gone this far."

Faith shudders again as she finally sits up, I let go of her, but she rests her head on my shoulder. "Well, what happened?" Giles questions.

"Well, we're running through a cemetery, I think its Restfeild, trying to get away from something. Then we hide in a crypt, but a minute later a bunch of vamps come in after us. Until tonight, that's as far as it's gone. It's like we lose all of our strength, I haven't felt so helpless since my eighteenth birthday." Giles looks away when I say this, but I just keep going. "They're holding us down and then our voices go, and one of the Gentlemen show up. He went after Faith, it was like he didn't even notice I was there."

Faith moves so that she's now leaning against the wall behind her bed. "I don't think it was prophetic, I mean, all the cemeteries are gone with the rest of Sunnydale, and I killed all of the Gentlemen."

"I think I might know what it is," Willow cuts in quietly. "Faith, have you been having this dream too, as much as Buffy has?"

Faith just nods.

"Yeah, I know what it is, it's not prophetic."

"Then what is it Willow?" Giles asks, seemingly very concerned.

"It's the spell."

"Wh-what spell?" Faith asks, sitting up straight again.

"The Slayer spell, the one I did at the final battle with the First," Willow goes on slowly, perhaps afraid that Faith might jump her or something. "There was a possibility that something like this might happen. I spoke to Buffy about it the night before, but she said that the spell was too important to worry about it."

"Worry about _what_ exactly?" Apparently Faith got her voice back. She's about to stand up, but I put out my hand.

"Our connection," I start slowly. She sits back down, but her face shows a look of confusion and anger, and I don't blame her, we should have told her, but we didn't think about it then. "Since we were both already Slayers, there was a possibility that the spell would make our connection stronger."

"How?"

"There was a possibility that over time you would start being able to feel each other's emotions, and maybe be able to hear what each other think," Willow explains, and Giles begins to look rather intrigued. "And now that it seems you've been sharing dreams since the spell took place, the possibility's rather good that the rest will happen."

Ah, crap, this could be a very bad thing. If Faith can read my thoughts, then she'll realize that I… But after those dreams. Did she have exactly the same dreams, even that part?

"Will, could you make us some hot chocolate, I'm sure it will make Faith feel better," I ask and look over at Faith. Several emotions were playing across her face at once, I really wish I knew what was going through her head right now. Did she hate me for not telling her? "That dream, well, you remember what it was like to have the Gentlemen come after you. And I kinda need to talk to Faith, alone."

Giles just nods with understanding and leaves the room. "I'll come get you when they're ready," Willow says as she leaves.

"I'm-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Faith cuts me off. She has every right to be mad, I just wished she wasn't.

"I'm sorry, I know I should've." I put my head down in defeat, then slowly raise it and look at her pleadingly. "I was stupid."

"Yeah, you're good at that," she shoots back. That hurt, but I guess I kinda deserve it.

"God, I'm so sorry Faith. I know I've done a lot of shitty things to your life, but I just- I just need to know something." God, I'm begging, don't beg to Faith, you should know by now that it doesn't work. I look at her again and she's giving me one of those 'well, get on with it' looks. "Did you have the same dream, I mean, exactly the same?"

"I dunno, B, but if we're sharing dreams, it's safe to assume they were exactly the same." Yeah, she's definitely mad at me; damn it, why do I always screw up when it comes to her? "What part are you talking about, B?"

"That part after we enter the crypt, before that vamps attack. When we…" I trail off.

"Yeah, Buffy, I had that part too."

"Oh, ok."

Fuck Buffy, what was that? 'Oh, ok', you're such an idiot.

I think Faith realized I was having an internal WWE smack down, because she starts to giggle. I don't think I've ever actually seen Faith giggle before.

"Hey you guys, hot chocolate's ready," Willow announces as she knocks on the door. "Em, Faith, marshmallows or whipped cream?"

"Um," she says loudly then turns to me. "What you getting?"

"Marshmallows," I mouth.

"I'll have whipped cream, Red," she calls back and I punch her in the arm. "Hey, what was that for?"

"You always have to be my opposite, huh?"

"Yeah, of course," she just smiles wickedly at me. "It not as fun any other way."

She gets up and walks to the door. After she leaves I turn and start hitting my head on the wall behind her bed. Damn you, Buffy, damn your stupidity.

"Hey, B?" She comes back into the room. "Stop beatin' yourself up and come get some hot chocolate. We'll discuss this later. K?"

I just shrug. She offers a hand to pull me off the bed, and I take it. I make to let go of it after I get up, but she doesn't let go. Wow, I'm suddenly all giddy. This is odd, but in a nice sorta way. She smiles at me and laughs slightly. I'd think that she could read my mind already, but my emotions are so obvious right now, that you'd be blind if you didn't see them. Ah, hot chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, I'm gonna put the rest that I have up, cuz you guys obviously love this and I don't want to keep it from you ;D As to why Buffy kept that stuff from Faith, I don't think I ever went into it. Hmm, I gotta think about that. Hopefully I'll have this finished before too long, I just gotta figure out how the hell I'm gonna work the whole Queen thing (I have a couple of little things I know are going into it, but as for the big picture, I have no clue. Help would be lovely).**

"Ok, I'm giving each of you £150. Its eleven now, and we have a dinner reservation for seven. I expect you to buy something to wear on the 17th. Something decent, something not too revealing." What? Why'd he look at me when he said that? It's not like I was gonna appear nude in front of the Queen or something. I do have tact.

"So I'm guessing I can't just wear the leather pants and pasties with tassels that I brought with me then, darn." Red giggles at this; she's lightened up so much since I've come back, maybe it was the going evil, or maybe it was just Tara. I knew Tara would be great for her. I look at B, and dude, she's blushing. I love it when I make B blush, it makes me feel all special. Man, I'm getting way too soft.

"Yes, that would probably be inappropriate," Giles says softly after making clicking noises with his tongue. I'm almost positive I heard him say something like 'what am I going to do with her?', but even with my Slayer hearing, I can't be sure. I had almost forgotten he was there.

"So what will you do while we're out shopping?" B asks just to say something.

"Do you really care?"

"Why is it that you always just assume I don't care about your personal life?" B asks in a huff. Giles just raises an eyebrow and makes a slightly amused face. "Ok, so I don't really care, but I should at least be given points for trying to start a conversation."

"So we're off then, we'll see you at seven?" Willow says, it wasn't really meant to be a question, but her voice rose at the end as a result of her pulling us along with her out the door.

"Yes, seven."

Willow

"Ah, B, look. It's a weapon store." Jeez, she sounds like a kid on Christmas, bouncing up and down. "Look at that cross-bow, its sweet."

"C'mon Faith, you heard Giles," Buffy scolds. "You can't just spend all your money on weapons. Besides, the money Giles gave you couldn't buy that cross-bow."

Faith just pouts; Buffy takes her by the wrist to pull her away, but Faith won't budge. "Ah, c'mon B, just let me look around a bit," she says, pouting more and batting her eyelashes. Buffy pouts back. Ah, they're flirting, how cute. I bet they don't even realize it.

"Let her go in Buffy, she'll never shut up if you don't at least let her look," I laugh slightly, this is so cute, I can't help myself. "Though you should go with her, keep an eye on her ya know." Just keep 'em together Will, they'll figure it out eventually.

"Ok, we can look," Buffy gives in, but she's smiling. Faith's jumping up and down; down girl! Wow, she's hyper right now.

"You guys have fun, I'm gonna start my shopping. See that pub down there?" I point down the street at an old looking pub called the 'Hung, Drawn, and Quartered'. They nod. "We'll meet back there at two, k?"

"Sure thing Red," Faith says eagerly as she drags Buffy into the shop after her. Ah, you know Buffy will enjoy that store as much as Faith.

I've gone into a few stores, it's been about an hour and a half since I left Buffy and Faith, but I've yet to find anything that I really like. Maybe I should stay away from all those big stores. There are so many little boutiques around here, I've always loved those.

This one sounds promising. It's a little store on the corner named simply, "The Dress Shoppe".

Hmm, the window display's kinda cute. Long, kinda glittery red dress with a long slit. Not exactly what I had in mind though. I kinda want to go for something simpler, maybe a little black dress.

Speaking of little black dresses, there's Faith and she's about to go try on probably four variations of said number. I think she should go for something new.

"Hey Faith," I say as I walk in the store.

"Hey Red."

"What'cha looking at?" I ask, eyeing her dresses.

"Little black dress, figure it's the safest," she shrugs. "I don't do the whole dress thing often, ya know?"

"I think the last time, no, the only time I saw you in a dress was Homecoming."

"Yeah, I think I've worn a dress one, maybe two, other times," she chuckles.

"Well, I'm gonna look around for me. Why don't you try those on and come out in the one you like best? Then I'll tell you what I think."

She just nods and goes off to the changing rooms in the back. I gotta find her something else. Maybe something that'll catch Buffy off guard. Heh, heh. Playing match maker can be fun sometimes. It's not like I'll have to do much anyway, just a little shove in the right direction, get them talking. I mean, it's so obvious, at least to me and Ken, and I think Dawn made a comment about it once too; she's a very perceptive girl. Just a Slayer thing my ass; what they feel for each other goes so much deeper than just that, they're just clueless.

This is somewhat amusing, now that I think of it. Me, Willow, the geeky, no dress sense girl, telling Faith what will look best. Yes, quite amusing.

There's a nice one, it's fairly simple; no frills, no glitter, no lace, and it's definitely different. Yeah, so it's white, but she has to at least try it on. It's a beautiful dress, the material's kinda soft and thin; it's long with a slit from just above the knee. Low back, and the front is laced up with a white ribbon. I think it'll look good on her, if she can get passed the fact that it's white.

"Faith, have you tried them on yet?" I call through the door. All I get is a muffled 'yeah' in response. "So, let's see it then."

She comes out in one with a strappy back. It does look good on her, but she could do better.

"You like?" she asks as she twirls around in front of me.

"It's nice, but I think you should try something other than black," I suggest, the white dress draped over my arm. Yeah Will, smooth, real smooth.

"Yeah, I guess I could try something in red," she mumbles, obviously giving thought to my idea. Then she looks back at me and the dress. "That the one you're trying? It's nice."

"Glad you like it, but no." Ha! I think I've confused her; I'm guessing she knows what I'm thinking, but is hoping it's not true. "I was thinking it'd look good on you."

"Red, I thought you knew me better than that," she teases, hands on hips. "I don't do white; at least not all white."

"Ah, c'mon Faith, just try it on," I urge, holding the dress up to her. "If it looks like crap, you just put it back and I'll buy you a drink."

"Fine!" she huffs, but she still takes the dress and goes back into the room.

As she's doing her thing, I head over to look at more dresses. I like this one, it's kinda old Hollywood-esk, makes me think of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Yay, they have it in my size.

"Hey, Red!"

"Yeah, just a sec." I pick up the dress and go to the back. Faith's standing there, hands crossed on her chest, but she's smiling slightly. I twirl my finger and she spins for me. Her arms are out, she's on her toes and has a huge grin on her face now. I knew she'd like it.

"Yeah, so you were right," she pouts.

"You look hot, Faith," I laugh and raise an eyebrow. "I might just have to get rid of Ken."

I nudge her arm with my elbow and she laughs. "Yeah, right."

"Ok, so I wouldn't go that far, but I think Buffy will love it," I say, smiling, but she just frowns.

"What's that supposed to mean, Red?" Oh, good job Will, she's glaring at you now. Coulda been just a little less blunt.

"Oh, nothing." I shrug it off all innocent like, but she's still glaring. "I'm gonna try this on, you go buy your dress. We have about an hour left, so we have time to buy shoes."

About seven minutes later we leave the store with two more bags and a lot less money.

"So, what did you mean back there?" Faith asks me after we've walked a while in silence.

"What do you mean, what did I mean?" Yeah, there you go Willow, play the ignorance card.

"Oh, don't give me that Willow, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Uh oh, she said my name; I should probably stop screwing around.

"You mean you don't understand? I mean, c'mon Faith, it's pretty obvious."

"What's obvious?" she asks innocently, but she's looking at her feet again.

"Oh, now who's playing dumb?" I stop walking and grab her wrist, turning her around to face me and bringing her eyes up to mine. "You like her, don't you?" I ask her softly, but her eyes go back down. "It's not something to be ashamed of, c'mon Faith, you should know that."

"So what if I do, it's not like she feels the same way," she huffs and starts walking again.

"What? Are you blind?" She stops and looks at me with a puzzled expression. "She feels the same about you, you can tell, especially after last night."

"What, did she tell you?" she asks skeptically, but there was hope in her voice as well. "And last night didn't mean anything, we were both scared shitless."

"No, she didn't, but-"

"See, you can't be positive, and I'm not gonna go make a fool out of myself because 'you can tell'," she shoots back. "I've been hurt too many times."

"Ok, fine," I give in. "I'm not gonna push you, but it would save a lot of pain for all of us."

"Just drop it, k?" she yells back, walking off.

"Fine."

We got our shoes and made it to the pub about ten minutes early. It's already getting fairly rowdy when we get there. We sit at the bar and order some drinks. Faith turns around in her seat and starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask, turning to look where she's looking.

"Those guys over in the corner are arm wrestling," she points out, then just watches them as they go at it. After it's over, she just laughs again. "Man, that's sad. That guy's a wimp and it took the other guy five minutes to get his arm down. I coulda beaten him in like ten seconds."

"Yeah, ok Faith," I just laugh at her. What an ego! She gets up and walks toward them. "Hey, Faith, where ya going?"

"I'm gonna show 'em how it's really done." Oh, great Faith. I guess I should follow her so she doesn't get herself into any trouble.

"Hey guys," she says, strutting over. It's so funny when she struts. "Can I have a go?"

They all start laughing as they look her over. "I don' think so lassie, I don' wanna hurt ya."

"Ah, give it a shot. How much is on the table?" Ah, Faith, no betting, we don't actually have any money left.

"£40 miss, but are ya sure you wanna do this?" the guy who just lost asks as he continues to stretch out the kinks in his arm.

"Hey Faith?" I tap her on the shoulder, and she turns to look at me. "Go easy on them, k? We don't need them to think you're a freak or something."

"Well, duh, Red. C'mon, I know what I'm doin'. Have a little faith, would ya?" she says with a wink and sits down, laughing slightly at her own pun. "Which hand?"

"The lassie gets to chose," answered the Scottish guy she'd spoken to originally.

"Ok then," she smiled and put up her left hand. "I'm a righty, but I saw you using your left, so I'll give you the advantage."

"Alright, if you insist," he smirked. Oh Faith, don't get all cocky.

It takes about ten seconds for Faith to start looking bored, but she sticks with the plan. Another thirty seconds and he was starting to go red from the effort, but he wasn't about to lose to a girl. A few seconds later, Faith finally put him out of his misery.

"Who wants the next go?" Faith offers to the other pub goers who had crowded around to witness this. Apparently there were many who wanted to prove their manhood against this strange American chick.

Fifteen minutes later, Buffy finally arrives and Faith is in the middle of another match.

"Hey Will, sorry I'm late." She puts her arm over my shoulder and frowns as she sees Faith. "Though I see you guys have kept busy. What's she doing?"

"Basically? Robbing them of their money and pride. They don't know when to give up, it's quite amusing," I laugh, Buffy smiles back at me and chuckles softly. "She's been at it for over fifteen minutes now."

"Ah, Faith, she does have a way at getting what she wants out of men, doesn't she," Buffy muses as Faith slams yet another hand onto the table. We both cheer loudly for Faith and she looks over. When she sees that Buffy's here, her entire face turns into a grin. Yup, she's got it bad.

"B! Finally, I thought maybe you'd died or something," she shouts over the noise of the pub. She takes Buffy by the hand and brings her to the table. "I bet any of you double the amount on the table that you can't beat my friend here."

The entire pub goes up in a roar of laughter, but neither of them flinch.

"Ah, you Americans are wussies," says a Frenchmen coming up from a few rows back. "I'll triple the amount on the table."

Buffy leans into Faith and whispers something in her ear. I can't hear anything, but I'm guessing she's asking how much money they're talking about. Faith whispers something back and Buffy looks at her with eyes and mouth wide.

"Fifteen hundred!" Buffy gasps, loud enough for half the pub to hear.

"Well, only if you win," Faith grins back. "But I have faith in you B."

"Oh, thanks, I'm glad I have your support," Buffy says as she sits down across from the Frenchmen and brings up her right hand. Faith bends down and whispers in her ear again and Buffy just nods. I'm guessing it was the strategy.

"Damn B! That was amazing, risky as hell though," Faith praises as we step out of the pub, much richer than when we had gone in. "I mean, I played 'em, but never like that. You had everyone in there thinking he was gonna win then, BAM! He was a goner, just like the rest of 'em."

"So how are we gonna split this?" Buffy asks as she stuffs the money in her purse.

"Well, a thousand of it is rightfully yours, Buff, and five hundred is Faith's."

"What about you Will, you should have at least some of it," Buffy urges, but I just shake my head.

"I didn't earn this, you guys did."

"Ya sure, Red?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Ok then, I'm off," she says after Buffy gives her the money, pointing down the street. "I'm gonna go look for something. I'll see you guys later."

"See ya Faith," we both wave as she walks away.

"So, you wanna split up or what?" I turn to Buffy as Faith walks around the corner and out of sight.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Ok, shoot," I say, showing her that she has my undivided attention.

"Um, tomorrow's Faith's birthday, she turns twenty-one," she starts and I smile. "She doesn't know that I know, but I saw it on her pass-port. I kinda wanted to do something special for her, seeing as we kinda screwed up all of her birthdays since she was sixteen."

"Wow, she was only sixteen when all that was going on with the mayor?" That makes me sad, I didn't realize how young she was. I knew she was younger than Buffy, but I thought it was only like six months younger. It surprises me that she's such a good person now. After the way we treated her then, she could have been so much worse. God I was a bitch back then.

"What ya thinking Will?" Buffy asks, smiling at me. I guess my eyes had glazed over or something.

"Oh, nothing. It's just, yeah, that is kinda sad," I say thoughtfully. "We should definitely do something nice for her. And twenty-one, I mean, that's a big deal. So yeah, whatever you have in mind, I'm up for it."

"Well, I have something for tomorrow night planned," she says, looking at me like she's worried about something. "But I know that Giles wouldn't like it, and I wasn't sure if you would want to go, so it's kinda just a me and Faith thing, if that's alright?"

Oh, like a date? I'm this close to saying that out loud, but I catch myself. "Yeah, that's fine. What are you going to?"

"Em, it's kinda a secret, but you'll find out tomorrow, don't worry." She smiles wickedly, apparently very proud of herself for what she had done. "But we should do something else too, during the day."

"Yeah, definitely, a party of some sort. There can be cake and presents and all sorts of fun stuff."

"Yeah, ok Will, and then we can play pin the tail on the donkey and give out little gift baggies," she suggests sarcastically

"What, do you think that I think that Faith is like five or something?" I shoot back. "And by the way, what was up with those little gift baggies anyway, I never understood them?"

"Yeah, me neither," she says quietly, then she's silent for a while and we just walk.

After a few minutes of silence, Buffy starts talking again. "Em Will, I actually have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Um, uh, sorry this is kinda weird," she babbles, then pauses for a few seconds, like she's working up the nerve to say whatever it is she wants to say. I bet I know what she wants to ask me about. "Uh, what do you think of Faith? I mean as a woman who likes other women, what do you think of her?"

Yup, knew it. Though I didn't expect her to phrase it like that. "I don't know. She's sexy; I mean like, really sexy. And her personality isn't bad either, now that we understand each other. I think she's a lot smarter than she lets us think. And if it weren't for the fact that I'm with Kennedy, I'd take her in an instant. I don't think I'm her type though. Why?"

"It's nothing, I was just wondering," she shrugs and continues walking. I just laugh. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, it's nothing," I laugh some more and shake my head a bit.

"No, it's definitely something."

"It's just the two of you, you guys really crack me up."

"What were you two talking about without me?"

"Nope, not aloud to tell," I say in mock seriousness, shaking my head firmly. "Faith would get mad at me, she probably wouldn't talk to me again."

"Ah, so it was kinda like this conversation then?" she asks hopefully.

"No, not really. It was more of me asking all the questions and her telling me it was all in my head, and to never, ever, tell you about what she said."

"What were you asking, and what did she mean?"

"Nope, can't tell, remember?" Stay firm Willow, don't give in. Ah, these two are gonna make me go insane if they don't figure out what's up, I swear.

"Will, you're impossible, did you know that?" Buffy punches my arm lightly.

"Yeah, I know; Ken tells me that all the time."

"Do you miss her?" she asks softly, linking our arms as we walked down the street.

"Yeah, I didn't think I would, especially since we've only been here a day, but I do. I felt so lonely last night. But I guess you'd know how that goes, you've been Spikeless for a few weeks now."

"I guess, I don't know. I mean, I miss Spike, yeah, but not like that. He was a great guy and a great warrior, but I kinda had my mind on other things, so I couldn't really love him."

"Yeah, big battle." Yeah, c'mon Will, little pushes, you'll get her to say it.

"Well, yeah, but not just that, there were other things, other people that just made it impossible for me to feel that way about him."

Almost there Will, almost there. "Like what?" I ask innocently. Playing dumb seems to be working a lot better with Buffy than it did with Faith.

"Well, the Potentials, for one. Then the school reopened. And you came back. And-and then, well Faith. Faith coming back and being so different changed a lot of stuff."

"Oh, I see." I really want to ask how, but I know that'd be pushing it. Just give it some more time. They'll be able to read each others thoughts soon and until they learn to control that, there'll be no hiding.

Faith

"So, do we have any plans for tomorrow?" I ask as I dig into my Yorkshire Pudding, this stuff's better than I thought it would be.

B and Red shoot quick glances at each other. Huh, I wonder what that was about.

"Nope," B says quickly. "What do you have in mind?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering. Thought maybe we could look around the city or something, I don't know, I've never been here before."

"Hmm. Well, why don't you guys discuss this, I'll be right back," Red says quickly, getting up to go to the little lady's room.

After she leaves I just sit there quietly for a few minutes, poking at my food. I'm trying not to look at B, as that's kinda awkward after today. Finally I stand up. "I'm going to the restroom too, I'll be right back."

About half way there I spot Willow coming back. I grab her hand and haul her back into the restrooms.

"Well, did she say anything?" I ask hopefully the second we enter.

"Huh?"

"You know, after the pub. Did you guys talk about me?"

"Yeah, I guess, but I thought you didn't care." I hate it when she teases me like this.

"Well I wanna know if she said something. Did she say something?"

"Kinda."

"Kinda?" I'm gonna punch her if she keeps this up. "What did she say?"

"Well, she hinted at stuff, like, she wanted to know what I thought of you. What were her exact words?" she laughs as she remembers. "Oh yeah, 'as a woman who likes other women, what do you think of her?'"

What? She actually said that? That's so un-Buffy like.

"And she said that part of the reason she was never able to love Spike was 'cause you came back, and your changes apparently changed a lot of things for her."

"Wow! Really?" I ask, even more hopefully.

"Yeah. Are you gonna do something now that it's not as risky?" she asks as she hops up onto the counter.

"I dunno, probably. After the whole Queen thing, I'll bring it up," I shrug. Yeah, let's figure out what the Queen wants first, then we'll go from there.

"Faith, how long have you liked her?" Will asks. I didn't realize til just now that I've been pacing since we got in here, but I stop when she asks that.

"I dunno. When I was still a potential, my Watcher told me stories about her. I was fifteen at the time and it was kinda like hero worship. She'd laugh at me all the time 'cause I was always talking about going to find her when I became a Slayer," I say, inwardly laughing at my younger self for having such a stereotypical schoolgirl crush, well, maybe not that stereotypical, but closer to one than I'd ever admit to. "Then after I'd been called, I was just drawn to her. I had all these dreams about her; I knew exactly what she looked like before I even set foot in SunnyD. When I saw her, it was like love at first sight. It's kinda sad, I know."

"Not at all," Will says reassuringly. "I feel kinda bad actually, now that I think about it. When you suggested her taking you to Homecoming, you actually did want it to be a date, didn't you, even if she didn't think of it that way?"

I just smile weakly and look down at my shoes.

"I'm sorry about the whole, Cordy/Buffy bonding thing we set up," Willow says, truly upset about the fact that she did that.

"It's ok, I mean, it's not like you guys knew or anything. And besides, the past is the past, and we can't change it," I shrug and smile at her. "I'm just glad things are looking up now."

"I'm happy for you Faith, I really am," Willow says, smiling and hopping off the counter. "You deserve a happy life after all you've been through, and I don't think either of you would do anything to hurt each other. Oh, I'm so happy. Ken's gonna be thrilled!"

"Hey, slow down Red," I say, putting my hands up. "Nothing's actually happened yet, remember?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just so excited." Yeah, I noticed; the bouncing up and down kinda gave it away. "Why aren't you all excited? You just found out that the girl you've been crushing on for like, what, six years, probably likes you too."

"Oh, believe me, I am," I reassure her. If my head had a light in it that was controlled by my emotions, Willow would probably be blinded right now. "I just don't wanna get my hopes too high, makes rejection less harsh."

She nods sadly, understanding. "Well we should probably go back," she suggests, taking my upper arm. "Food's probably cold now."

I just nod and we head back to the table.

As we sit down, B smiles at us. "What have you two been up to? It's been like ten minutes and you're both glowing."

"Uh, sorry 'bout that. We were talking," Will says and goes back to her fries, um, I mean chips. I'm not used to the whole different words thing yet.

"What about?"

"Oh, nothing," I say quickly, blushing a bit. Damn it, I hate it when I blush. Willow's trying to hide her smile behind a 'chip', yeah, that's working great for her.

"Hey, secrets don't make friends," B whines and pouts. I love it when she pouts, I just wanna take that lip and, ok, stop now Faith. Control is a good thing.

"Well, maybe we aren't your friends," I tease, and she just pouts more. I love teasing B, it's so much fun, especially when it results in blushing or pouting. "Ah, B, just kidding. You know we love ya. Still won't tell though."

She jumps slightly when I say that, all surprised and shit, and she's blushing a bit now too. It makes me feel all tingly; I think what Red told me really is true!


	6. Chapter 6

indicates thoughts by others

Another birthday is going by without being noticed by those around me. It's kinda sad, but I'm used to it. Ok, so I'm a little more depressed than usual, but that's probably cuz it's my twenty-first and that's supposed to be like some huge coming of age thing. But it's not like I actually ever told them when my birthday was, so I shouldn't expect them to know about it. Ah well, I need to stop pitying myself now; I mean things are supposed to start going well in my life now, right? So next year I'll have the best birthday ever.

"Faith, you ready?" B shouts from down the hall.

"Yeah, just a sec," I yell back, pulling on my boots. We're supposed to be leaving to go on one of those ferries down the Thames in about, well, now actually. Then we're gonna have a picnic at some park. Sounds like fun, not what I woulda planned for my twenty-first, but fun nonetheless.

"Ya sure you wanna wear those, Faith?" B asks as she looks at my boots. "We're probably gonna be walking a lot."

"Huh? These?" I ask, pointing at the boots, and smiling back at B. At least she seems genuinely concerned about my well being, and that's always a good thing. "B, I was practically born in boots, I'm sure I can handle it."

She just smiles at me as she and Willow link arms and walk out the door. They're talking intently about something, I can't make anything out though. I really wish I knew what those two were up to. They were acting oddly all night, like they're plotting something, and I don't like it. Like I told Robin, not big on the surprises.

It takes us like twenty minutes to get to the docks. Apparently Giles had come down here earlier today and bought the tickets, which was a good idea, seeing as the line to get tickets was really long. Since we already have tickets, we get to bypass the line and head straight to the ferry boat thing.

"You guys go on up, I be right there," Giles says, motioning us to go on without him and then he goes to talk to someone.

I practically run on board, heading straight for the top. Buffy and Willow are right behind me, just walking and apparently still talking about something they don't want me to hear. Damn, I hate that, but whatever. I just go and sit in one of the seats near the back. I look up and they're standing at the front, still talking. Then they stop and Buffy walks toward me, but Will stays where she is. Ok, what's up?

She smiles at me as she walks past and sits in the seat behind me. Then she crosses her arms on the back of my chair and rests her chin on my shoulder so her face is right next to mine. Ok, closeness is making me all tingly again.

"Happy birthday," she whispers in my ear. Oh God! She knows it's my birthday! Wait, how does she know it's my birthday? Ah, fuck it, doesn't matter.

"You know it's my birthday?" I ask, beaming. I jump up and I would have knocked her over if it weren't for Slayer reflexes, you gotta love those.

"Yeah, I hear you're turning twenty-one, and that's like a big deal, right?" She stands up and faces me, then pulls something out of her pocket. "I gotcha something."

She hands me two tickets. I'm a little confused at first, but then I read them. How fuckin' cool is this! "Rasputina tickets? You got us front row Rasputina tickets for tonight!" I ask, jumping up and down.

"Yeah, I've heard you singing their stuff in the shower, I figured you like them," she smiles. "Besides," she shrugs. "I saved her ass a couple of years ago when she came to the Bronze and she owed me. We've got back stage passes as well."

"Fuck B! Do you realize how much I love you right now!"

Well, I was kinda hoping you'd show me just how much you loved me after the concert tonight.

I kinda jump back in shock, I probably have a really confused expression on my face right now. "Huh?" is all I can get out. Did she actually just say that? I didn't see her lips move, not that I was just looking at her lips. Ok, so I was, but… Did she just say that?

"Oh God!" B gasps. "You just heard what I thought?"

"And you just heard what I thought?" I ask; surprised, confused, happy, and hopeful all at once.

"Willow!" we shout in unison.

"Huh? What's wrong?" she asks as she walks over, but she's smiling; she knows what happened.

"Thoughts. Hearing," B states, moving her finger between the two of us.

"Ah, so the side affects are kicking in then, huh?" She just smiles at us knowingly. "Good to hear."

Just as she gets over to us, people start getting on the ferry, so we move into the back corner for some privacy. "So, what were you guys thinking when it went all kabluee?" Will asked, smiling brightly at us.

"Uh, um," Buffy stammers. She looks back into my eyes and smiles shyly. God, I love those eyes. When she looks at me like that I feel all, mmm, no words can describe it.

Ditto. This is odd. I mean, I wanna be with B and all, but I don't want her in my head all the time.

Ditto again. Ok, stop now, B. You're gonna drive me nuts. Sorry, I'll try.

"Um, nothing you need to know about, Will," B says, smiling wickedly.

"Oh, those kind of thoughts," Will squeaks. "And you thought you could hide your feelings. Yay, I'm all giddy!"

"Ah, there you are," Giles says, sitting down next to us. "What have you three been up to?"

"Nothin'," we all say at once.

"Happy birthday, Faith," Giles says and I just nod in acknowledgement.

"How did you guys know it was my birthday, anyway?" I ask, truly interested in how they'd found out.

Passport.

"Ah, got it," I say out loud before I realize that this probably confused Giles.

"Wait, did one of you say something?" Yeah, knew that'd confuse him.

"They can hear each others thoughts now," Will explains, smiling more.

"Oh, I see," he says thoughtfully, taking off his glasses. "What, may I ask, triggered it?"

"You're really better off not knowing, believe me," B says pointedly, me and Red just giggle. I really never giggled until just recently, it's odd, the affect that B has on me.

"For some reason, I think I should believe you," Giles mutters, wiping his glasses.

Then apparently he has something he wants to talk to Buffy about away from me, cuz he pulls her over to the other side. Maybe it was something about my birthday; a present, perhaps? This whole day has been amazing. It's like this morning, I thought I had nothing, then a couple of minutes ago, POW! It turns out my friends know it's my birthday, and B likes me.

Wow, she likes me! She really, really likes me. Fuck, I'm all giddy, this so isn't like me. But what if she doesn't REALLY like me, like I like her, like me? I mean, no one's ever REALLY liked me, just me for me and nothing else, before. Why should she be any different? Why should she like me, with everything I've done to her? I don't deserve her, I don't deserve this life.

Whoa, slow down there Speedy! Of course she likes you. Stop doubting yourself, Faith.

"Wait, you can get in my head too?" I ask, surprised and turn towards Willow.

Well, duh, it's called telepathy. I used to do it a lot while patrolling with Buffy and Xander.

"Ok, stop it won't you! It's bad enough with B and myself in my head; I don't need another person getting involved with my thought process."

"Ok, sorry, jeez!" Will says as she stands up. "I'm serious though, Faith. Stop with the self-doubting, it's not a good thing. I know that you more than like Buffy; I'm actually pretty sure that you've been in love with her for a fairly long time—though you did have an odd way of showing it. I'm not totally sure that Buffy _loves_ you, because she hasn't loved anyone since Angel, but she definitely REALLY likes you. I don't think she's felt the feelings she has for you since the beginning of her relationship with Angel. I can tell."

"How can you tell?" I ask. I'm pretty sure that everything that Will is saying is true, but I really need as much reassurance as she can give me right now.

"I'm her best friend," she says, sitting down and putting her arm over my shoulders. "It's my job to know these things. It's what I do. It's been so obvious the last few weeks it almost makes me laugh. Whenever she talks about you, she gets this happy nervous energy: she starts playing with things on her hands or her hair; and when you enter the room, her eyes light up. I haven't seen her like this in a long time, and it makes me really happy that she's finally found someone who makes her happy again. You guys should talk. I'll do something with Giles."

I just nod as she gets up to go over to where B and Giles are talking. I vaguely hear her say something about going to get tea; I'm not really paying too much attention, too many other things to think about. Then Will and Giles leave and B starts heading in my direction.

"Got a lot on your mind?" B asks and I just nod. "Well, we can talk or we can sit here and I can just listen to everything you're thinking."

"Nah, that's ok," I say, smiling at her weakly. "This whole mind reading thing is really giving me the heebie-jeebies."

"You seem worried about something," B says, tilting her head a little, so she can see my face better. I just shrug. "Talk to me Faith, tell me everything. I want to know everything that's on your mind, and I want you to know that you can always tell me anything. You can trust me, Faith."

"I know I can trust you, that's not what's worrying me," I tell her reassuringly. "It's just; us. I want there to be an us so badly. You have no idea how long I've wanted there to be an us. But I don't know how you feel, and all I want is to make you happy, cuz when you're happy, I'm happy."

"You make me happy, Faith. Right now, I think you're all I need to be happy. As for an us," Buffy pauses, takes my hand and lies her head on my shoulder. "Of course I want there to be an us. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," I say and start caressing her forehead.

"When did you start liking me?" she asks, looking up at me.

I smile down at her thoughtfully for a bit before answering. "Seriously? I don't remember. When I was younger, I used to have these dreams about a beautiful blonde woman who went around slaying creatures of darkness and saving the innocent. I used to wish that you'd come and save me from my life and from myself. You were my fairytale princess and knight in shining armor all rolled into one. It's kinda funny now, thinking back on it. I stopped having them when I moved in with Nonnina. I think that's because with her I felt safe, and you had always been my safety."

"Nonnina?"

"My Grandma, remember, the one with the piano," I reply oh and give her a kiss on the top of the head. "My mom was put in rehab when I was nine, so I moved in with Nonnina. Some of the best years of my life. But when I was twelve they said my mom was all better, so I had to go back, which sucked because she started doing drugs again after about a month. Eventually she ODed, then my Watcher found me."

"Did your Grandma die?"

"No. She moved back to Italy," I say, then I smile a bit. "Still could be alive and kickin' for all I know."

"Did I ever rescue you?"

"Huh?" I ask confused.

"In your dreams, did I ever come and rescue you from your evil mother?" she asks with a wicked smile on her face.

"A few times, yeah," I say, smiling more, then I kiss her forehead again. "You'd come and sweep me off my feet. My own fucked up fairytale."

"That's so romantic!" she says, grinning even more.

"Yeah, I have my moments," I whisper, resting my cheek on her head, then I start toying with her hair. And here I am, several years later, being swept off my feet by her once again. It all seems so, I don't know, I guess surreal is the right word. Most of my life's been shit, but the last few weeks have been heaven. I feel like I'm just dreaming again; like in a few minutes someone will wake me up and it will all be shit again.

"You're not dreaming Faith, this is real," Buffy whispers. Then she stands up and goes to the back of the ferry, watching the world pass behind it. I go up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. This is all so beautiful, she's so beautiful. I don't belong here, I can't, I'll just screw up and ruin her life again. How can't this be happening? I must be dreaming.

"Well, if this is just your dream, I hope you never wake up," she whispers. Then she turns her head and kisses me gently. "Will's right, stop doubting yourself."

"Buffy, you're amazing, you know that, right?"

"Lots of people have told me that, but it's never seemed as meaningful as now," Buffy muses, her hands on mine. "It's not everyday that someone who's tried to kill you, been put in a coma by you, and literally been in your body, says you're amazing. But you're amazing too, the Chosen Two, remember?"

I want so badly to love her. I know she loves me, but I don't know what I feel. Is it love? I'm not sure. She's such a beautiful, wonderful person…woman. She deserves someone who loves her. Wait, is that why I'm not sure if I love her or not, because she's a woman?

"Hey, Buffy, stop beatin' yourself up. It's ok, really," I say as I pull her tighter. Then we just stand there for a few minutes in complete silence, neither of us even think anything. But I, of course, have to ruin this beautiful, perfect moment, cuz that's what I do. "Buffy, is this alright? I mean, it doesn't freak you out too much, does it?"

Oh wow, she keeps saying my name. I'm so used to her saying B or Blondie. I love it when she calls me Buffy.

"Would you like it if I always called you Buffy?" I ask quietly.

"Occasionally yeah, but not always," she whispers back with a nod. "I like B, it's like just a you thing; no one else has ever called me that. And no, I'm not freaked. I mean, my best friend is a lesbian, how can this freak me out? And besides, its you, and we've always had this; thing, ya know?"

"A thing?" I ask with a smirk.

"Yeah, a thing," she sighs. Then she lays her head on my chest and closes her eyes. I rest my head on top of hers and close my eyes as well. Then she sighs again and starts to shake like she's laughing inside.

"What?" I ask and move my head to look down at her.

"No, don't move, you're comfy."

And then I do hear laughing from behind us. "Ah, they're so cute!"

"Yes, I'm sure," Giles says in his British way. I'd bet you the leather pants I'm wearing right now that he took off and wiped his glasses when he walked over here and saw us.

"Hey guys," Will says as she comes up behind us. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Very funny Red," I chide. Yes, yes you did interrupt something, the most wonderful moment of my life. That's what you interrupted.

"Sorry, we'll just go over there then," she says, pointing down the boat. Then she grabs Giles by the wrist and drags him off.

"Really?" Buffy asks me after they walk off. I feel my face heat up as it gets red.

"How do you make me blush so much, B?" I ask in mock anger. "No one else has ever made me blush."

"Just a talent, I guess." I can feel her smile into my chest. Just standing here, holding her means more to me than anything I've ever done with any man or woman in my life. I've been waiting all my life to hold her like this. I feel more at home in her arms than I ever have in Boston, Sunnydale, LA, anywhere. I feel like I belong here, with her; wherever she is, I belong there. She's my home. I smile at that thought, and so does Buffy.

"I love hearing you think. Why didn't you tell me you were such a romantic before?" Great, and now I'm blushing again. "No, I'm serious, you sound like you should be writing poetry or something."

I do. Oh, shit, that's just what I need. Now she knows I write poetry too.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you? Can I read some of it?"

"No, it's not worth sharing." She starts to tickle my stomach and I twitch and start laughing. "Ok, ok, just stop. It's all at Angel's. But it sucks, so don't say I didn't warn you."

"I'm sure you're just being modest."

"Whatever you say B."

"You two done?" Willow asks, walking back over to us. "Cuz it's time for us to get off."

"Yeah, sure Red," I acknowledge Willow, but I still only see Buffy. "We were just digressing to tickling anyways."

Much like our little cruise down the Thames, I didn't notice much of our walk to the park, or the park itself for that matter, my eyes were…occupied. I've never really been one for sight seeing anyways. While walking hand in hand with Buffy, it's hard to concentrate on anything else. I really hope the two of us are retiring from this Slayer gig, cuz I'm dead the first time I patrol with her. I wouldn't notice a vamp sitting on top of me if she was near by.

We find a nice shady spot under a tree; cuz, you know, London's so sunny. Giles pulls a blanket out of the bag he'd been carrying. Damn, he's like fuckin Mary Poppins, shit keeps comin outta that bag like it's a bottomless pit.

"Great, I'm dating a sailor," Buffy huffs.

"Girl, you already knew what you were gettin with this package," I state, running my hand up and down my body like I'm fuckin Vana White showing off a prize. And what a package it is "Why thank you, B."

"Any time, F."

"Hey, what's that?" I ask, noticing the brightly colored bags that Willow's carrying for the first time.

"Buffy, you're not just dating a sailor, I'm afraid you're dating a dummy too," Willow teases.

"Oh no you didn't. I'm gonna kick your pretty ass for that one, Red." I move to get Willow, but Buffy grabs me from behind, turns me around and kisses me hard. I moan a little from being caught off guard and she pulls away. "What were we talking about?"

"Presents, dummy," Buffy teases. "And no more calling other people's asses pretty."

"You forgot to mention she was a possessive one, Red."

"Sorry, but I figured you'd have caught on to that by now."

"Well, I always was a little slow, right B?"

"Yup, I think I beat her up one too many times, maybe we should get that checked out." Ah, thanks B.

"Can we get to presents now?" Willow asks.

"Bring 'em."

"Oh, mine first," Giles says, handing me a bright pink bag with violet tissue paper.

"Nice wrapping, G," I laugh, examining the bag with an amused half grin.

"Yes, well, I was given little warning and this is all could find," he defends himself.

"Cool it Giles, it's all good. Don't judge a book by its cover, yeah?" I smile at him as I start ruffling through the paper.

"Indeed."

"Indeed," I reply as I pull out…a book. A very old looking book; but hey, this is Giles. It's not like he was gonna get me Play Station or something.

"It's a book about demons and the supernatural in ancient Italy," he explains, pointing to the cover. "I haven't read the whole thing, but I figured, with your heritage, you might find it interesting."

"Thanks G, really, I appreciate it," I say with a smile, but they all look at me doubtingly. "No, I'm serious, it's great. Why does everyone just assume I hate to read?"

"Maybe it was all those comic books I found in your apartment," Buffy teases.

"Or the fact that you dropped out of school," Willow adds, just for good measure.

"Ok, ouch, that stung." I rub my arm like she just punched me. "But I got my GED, so it's all cool, yeah?"

"Oh my God! You got your GED?" Buffy asks, face beaming. "When?"

"In jail," I shrug. "I was bored in there, figured I might as well do some good. Besides, the shrink said it would probably help me get an early release date; not that that matters, what with Wes breakin me out and everything."

"It's nice to know he's doing some good for a change," Giles smiles, like he's a father feeling slightly proud after hearing news of a son he disowned years ago. "Instead of screwing everything up."

"Wes? He's a good man," I shrug. "Nothing like a stint on the dark side to help you see the light," I say sagely and they all nod in agreement. Wow, so much has happened with these guys since the first time around. They're not the same people anymore; hell, I'm not the same person I was then either.

"Killing someone, it just does stuff to you, completely changes your perception of right and wrong," Willow adds. Me and Watcher man nod while Buffy kind of just looks away. It's difficult to remember that of all the people sitting her, she's the only one who hasn't taken a life, a human life I mean. Willow went all freaky last year, and she told me about Giles and that Ben/Glory hell god thing. Plus, I've heard stories about Ripper. Man, did I miss a lot while I was locked away.

I've killed too, but nobody thinks about it. They just overlook it. Buffy tells me quietly, then shakes her head and looks away again.

What? I'm so confused right now. What did I miss while I was away?

"I'll tell you later," Buffy whispers to me and the other two just look at her oddly. Well this is certainly unexpected. But enough with this shit.

"As fun as this 'share n grow' session has been, guys, can we move on? Presents, remember?" A little helpful shove in the right direction never hurt anyone.

"Oh, yeah. Um, here," Willow says, handing me a skinny box. I open it and inside is a silver chain with a thin piece of obsidian in an oval. Wow, it's beautiful. "It's for tomorrow, I figure, since you're not wearing black, you could have a little bit of black to add color, or lack there of, or whatever. I just wasn't sure what to get you, being such short notice and all, and I saw this and figured you'd like it, but if you don't, I completely understand."

"It's great, Red, I love it," I cut into her babble, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Wait, you're not wearing black?" Buffy asks, like it's completely changed her world. "What are you wearing?"

"Nah uh, B, you'll just have to wait and find out tomorrow," I say as I cock my head and grin at her. She pouts, like I'm not immune to that. I just pout right back at her, and add a bit of sad puppy eyes, just for affect. No one will ever beat me in a pouting contest, and this time is no different. I so rule!

"Ok, fine, Miss I'm So Damn Irresistible, I'll just have to keep this last present for myself." She pulls out another, slightly larger box, and tosses it between her hands. I just pout more.

"Please?" I really wonder how much more of my bottom lip I can expose. She raises an eyebrow. Damn, do I really have to beg? "Please, pretty please. With a cherry on top?"

What will you give me for it?

I can think of a lot of things I can give to her, but I just lean in and grab her pouting lip with mine and suck on it gently. I don't think Willow would mind if I just jumped her bones here and now, actually, she'd probably enjoy the show; but I really don't want to give Giles a heart attack; Buffy would never forgive me for that.

"Ok, ok, here," Buffy huffs before handing me the box reluctantly. I bounce a few times before settling down and ripping through the paper covering the box. I open it and, holy fuck!

"Holy fuck, B! This is amazing," I gasp, holding it up and turning it around. It's a stake, but not just any stake. This is so fucking cool, it's unbelievable. The thing's probably about nine inches long, and the handle is studded with jewels. There's also words burnt into it; on one side it says: CHOSEN TWO, and on the other it says: FOREVER. This is amazing! How did she manage to get someone to make this?

"I made it, with Angel's help. He showed me how to do the jewels," she explains.

"He let you handle a blow torch? He's braver than I give him credit for," I smirk, and get a good, solid slayer punch in my shoulder for my efforts.

"Well, if you can stop mocking me." Buffy's eyes narrow, sternly, but she's still smiling. "I say we eat so we can get back to the flat and get ready for the concert tonight."

We all nod in agreement and start to chow down. Man, tonight's gonna be fuckin' awesome!


	7. Chapter 7

That was the night the dreams came back. Not the dreams that I had been sharing with Buffy during the last few weeks; I only wish. No, it's the one about my mom. When she got out of rehab, she hated me. Something about the fact that Nonnina loved me and never loved her; something stupid like that. But it pissed her off to no end, so beatings became the nightly pre-bedtime ritual. In my dream, I'm always curled up in the corner crying in vain for her to stop. I was so weak then, I don't ever want Buffy to know this side of me.

Suddenly my eyes shoot open and I can hear myself crying, just like in the dream, and I'm sweating all over. Then the door opens and I see Buffy standing in the doorway. She rushes over to the bed and wraps me in her arms.

"Oh God, Faith, are you ok?" she asks quietly, but harshly, like she's scared to death about me; which she probably is.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I try to sound it, but she just pulls me tighter. "It was just a dream, I'm used to it now."

"But it was so real, not even my Slayer dreams have ever been like that."

"Well, it was real. But that was a long time ago," I reassure her.

"You've been crying Faith," she says, she sounds wicked freaked. "Please Faith, talk to me about it."

"Not now Buffy, it's late," I say quietly. "I don't wanna talk now."

"Ok," she says sadly, getting up to leave.

"No, don't leave," I plead quickly and a little louder. She stops at the door and comes back to the bed, lying back down next to me. "Please, just hold me. I don't want us to talk now, I just want us to sleep."

"Ok," she says, understanding. She wraps her arms around me again and pulls me close to her. I rest my head on her chest and she kisses the top of my head.

We're silent for a while, but neither of us can go back to sleep yet. So I say something: "I just wish that she was alive after I was called so I could've shown her how much pain she caused me."

"No you don't," Buffy assures me. Funny, I though it was only right to want revenge for something like this. "'Cause then you would've been just like her and she would've won."

"Why, Buffy?" I ask. "How can any mother hate her own child that much?"

"I don't know," she says, kissing me softly. "There are so many things that I don't understand. We're supposed to protect the world from demons, but people can cause so much more pain to another person than any demon ever could. Sometimes I don't know what it is we fight for, it just doesn't seem worth it. But then I realize that out there somewhere there may be a girl like you who has been called. So we helped her."

"I love you Buffy," I say so quietly that if Buffy was anyone else- meaning: non-slayer- she wouldn't have heard. Then I close my eyes again and snuggle closer to her.

"I know," she says and closes her eyes too. Cookie dough

"How can you be hungry B?" I laugh tiredly.

"No, I'm not hungry," she laughs at me. I just look at her, confused. "When Angel came to Sunnydale to give me the amulet, I told him that I wasn't ready to love anyone yet, anyone at that time meaning him or Spike," she explains. "I told him that I was cookie dough."

"Cookie dough?" I ask, amused. "You had to compare yourself to the oh-so-yummy dessert?"

"Yes, well, maybe I was a little hungry at the time. You know Slayers, we always think with our stomachs," she laughs a little, then continues. "No, actually, what I meant was: I wasn't ready yet. I need to be baked." But I love cookie dough. "Faith, please, stay with me. I need to baked, and then I can be a warm and gooey cookie, then I'll be ready to love again. Faith?"

"Yeah?" I look up at her.

"I would love it if you were the one to bake me."

"Would I get to eat you afterwards?" I just couldn't help myself.

"Faith!" she exclaims, moving her hands around to tickle my stomach.

"Hey, I'm tired," I laugh, squirming to try to get away from her, but she has me tight. "You handed it to me on a silver platter babes, I couldn't not take it."

"Weren't we going to not talk?" she asks, and I smile up at her as she stops tickling me.

"Yeah, I think that was the original plan," I smirk. "And I think I know the perfect way to fix it, too."

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

So I kiss her. It's a way to make us not talk, right? And she doesn't seem to be complaining.

"That was nice," she whispers as she pulls away. "Can we not talk some more?"

"Shut up, B," I whisper back and pull her into another kiss. This one's really soft and slow. Hey, I am tired after all.

"Good night Faith." She brushes some stray hair behind my ear and rests her cheek on the top of my head.

"Night Buffy," I say with a smile. Wow! I'm sleeping in the arms of Buffy Summers, I never though that this day would ever come. But it has, and it's so much more wonderful than I ever imagined. What did I do to deserve this?

Shhh, Faith, don't think now, just sleep.

I can do that, I think.

After that I fall asleep, and I don't dream all night, at least, not really. It's like I'm swimming in Buffy. Everything's white, and I can smell her, and feel her, and hear her heart beating and her shallow breathing, and I'm sure if I were to open my mouth, I would've been able to taste her as well. I'm surprised I ever got to sleep, but then again, I was tired.

When I open my eyes in the morning, I realize that we've moved. Buffy has turned around and I have my arms wrapped around her. I smile as I smell her hair; a smell that is all Buffy, no one else could ever smell that good.

"Morning beautiful," I whisper as I feel her move in my arms. I had hoped that she would've stayed asleep so I could just watch her for another hour or so, but I guess she can sense that I'm up.

"Morning," she repeats. I can tell that she's smiling 'cause when she smiles it's like everything around her lights up.

"You two up yet?" Will asks as she sticks her head through the door.

"Yet? What time is it?" she asks huskily. Damn, that was hot! "Faith! I mean, what time is it?"

"It's after ten," Will scolds. "C'mon, you guys gotta get out of bed."

"No, I never wanna leave," Buffy whines, snuggling up closer to me. Oh, I bet I just missed a pout. Damn. "Never, ever… and not even another apocalypse can make me."

"Faith!" Will scolds me now. Wait, what did I do? "I thought that you guys were gonna take things slow. What happened to not trying to get into her pants last night?"

"You think we did the down and dirty last night Red? Wow, someone has her mind in the gutter." I got her to blush, but with Will it's so easy. "And I don't think she's wearing pants." I lift up the covers a bit and see that she's just wearing a t-shirt and panties. "Nope, not pants."

"Faith!" Now Buffy's scolding me. "Stop making Wills blush. Yeah, it is cute, but give her a break."

"Wait, you think Red's cute?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, and now Buffy's the one blushing. "Do I have competition now?"

"No, no competition," Buffy says. She turns around in my arms and gives me a quick kiss. "But you have to admit, Willow is pretty cute, especially when she blushes."

"Isn't this one of those conversations you could have mentally?" Will asks, blushing even more.

"Now who's making her blush, B?"

"Ok, I'm gonna leave now," she says, pointing out the door. "But could you two hurry, please?"

"But don't you think she's cute Faith?" Buffy asks again as Wills turns to leave. I can just picture the eye roll. "Well?"

"Yeah, Buffy, she's very cute. But not as cute as you," I say huskily, throwing in my patented half smile just for kicks. "And I must say B, the hot pink and lime green, plaid panties- they blow my world away. Not every girl can pull off that look, but for you it really works."

"You've been working on that sarcasm thing, haven't you?" she asks smugly.

"You think I'm lying?" I ask, shocked. "I'd never lie to you babes."

"C'mon Faith, we should probably get up," Buffy says sadly. "We need to be ready for tonight."

"Ah, the Queen can wait," I assure her. "Besides, we don't even have to be there 'til what, eight? We've got all day to get ready."

"Ok," she agrees. "I love your morning look Faith. The messy hair thing is hot."

"Oh, we're in London, just give it a week and the look will catch on," I play along. "It'll be all the rage all over Europe within a month."

"I'm sure," she smiles at me. Then she moves around a bit so she's laying almost on top of me with her back to me. I wrap my arms around her and lace my fingers with hers on her stomach.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," I whisper in her ear, and I can feel her smiling again. This is so perfect, and for once in my life, I'm gonna do everything in my power not to screw it up.

"Faith?" she asks and tries to look at me.

"Hmm?"

"I don't wanna go back," she whispers.

"Huh?" is all I can manage.

"To LA," she clarifies. "I want to take a break from everything, a long one. I want it to be just you and me for a while: no Dawn, no Scoobies, and certainly no Andrew. Besides, we have a lot of lost time to catch up on."

"I'd like that," I smile. "I've always wanted to travel in Europe."

"After we do this thing with the Queen, we'll decide where to go," she decides. "No matter what happens, what she wants. We'll do what we want for once, just you and me."

"Wow, you're starting to sound like me a bit babes," I laugh a bit. I can picture all the things she can. She's giving me images of us riding through Europe on a motorcycle, and us kiss at various places of historical importance. "I'm really rubbing off on you B, you should be careful."

"But what if I don't want to be careful?" she asks, turning over to kiss me. "That's what I'm trying to say. I'm tired of living by all these stupid rules that have imprisoned me for so long. It sucks, and I just wanna get away from it all."

"Woah, that was deep Buffy, really," I say sarcastically. "You sure you're ready to go rogue? It's a big decision, hard to come back from. I should know."

"Its not going rogue, not really," Buffy tries to assure me, but she seems a little unsure about herself now. "There's lots of slayers now, I just want to get away from it all for a bit. Nothing wrong with that, they can handle themselves for a while."

"Ok, sure, it's a plan," I agree, and she kisses me again. "Now, we should probably get up before Red comes back in here and catches us in a compromising position."

I get up and walk across the room to find some clothes to throw on before we head out. Then I hear Buffy laughing at me. "What?"

"And you made comments about my underwear?" she laughs and I look down to see what she's talking about.

What? It's my normal bed time attire. Wife beater and boxers. "What's wrong with my boxers, B?"

"Silk boxers with the green M&M girl on 'em?"

"So? They were a gift," I state, hands on hips just daring her to mock my boxers. I like these babies; they have sentimental value an' shit.

"From who?" she asks, apparently very interested in who would give me such a gift.

"Dawn," I state and she looks shocked. "She gave them to me when I got back to Sunnydale. Got a problem with that?"

"No, not at all," she assures. "I just find it highly amusing that my sister would get you boxers as a welcome back present, that's all."

"What can I say, the girl's got class," I smile. "And apparently she took part in the effort to get us hooked up."

"Really, that's something, isn't it," Buffy muses. "My own blood, turning against me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, and all I get in return is a very seductive smile from Buffy. Don't change the subject, B, it aint gonna work on me. C'mon B, spill. But she doesn't say a thing; she just turns her smile into a pout and gives me those puppy dog eyes she knows I've never been able to resist, but I'm getting nothing on the mental sharing. Damn it! If Red showed her how to block this thing and left me outta the loop, she's gonna have a fucking pissed slayer to deal with!

"Jesus, you really don't shut up, do ya Faith?" Buffy asks, putting on a cocky grin, but I can feel that she's trying to suppress the old feelings of fear that the idea of me getting pissed off must bring.

Don't worry baby, I won't ever hurt you again. I can see her visibly relax, and now it's my turn to stick on the cocky grin. But that doesn't me you shouldn't fear me, 'cause you should; I think as I start prowling, stalking her like a lioness stalks her prey. I pull my shoulders back, narrow my eyes and I can feel my blood racing, ready for the hunt; and B's not sure if she should be afraid or really turned on, I can feel the conflicting emotions raging within her. Damn, this is great. I smirk, and as her cute confused look graces her face, I pounce. And I kiss her, I kiss her like the world could end any minute –which, with our luck, it could; but we just dealt with the big bad, and it's summer, so all the good little demons should play nice and give us a fucking break.

God Faith! You really gotta cut back on your Willow time.

"Sorry, baby," I mutter as I start kissing up her jaw and to her ear. God B, you taste amazing. I can feel her mouth pulling into a grin under my lips as the hands I didn't notice roaming my back come to my front and I let out a moan as she starts kneading my tits. She gasps as I finally reach her ear and start to suck and nibble at her lobe, and I echo it as I realize that I can feel all the sensations this is sending through her body. God, when we finally fuck, it's gonna be so fucking hot! Buffy moans at the thought and somehow manages to get my mouth back to hers.

I don't even notice that one of her hands is traveling down my stomach until it stops and starts tugging the hem of my wife beater up. "No, not yet baby," I manage as I pull away from the kiss and shake my head. She answers with a grunt and flips us over, so she's straddling my hips and looking down at me. I've never seen such a primal look of hunger on her face before. Spike wasn't lying when he said she'd changed. But the hungry look soon melts away into an understanding smile. The only movement in the room comes from her hand, which has found its way back to the hem of my shirt, as it moves under my tank and starts tracing circles on my skin, sending shivers through my body.

The only thing that breaks us from our moment is when the loud coughing from my doorway finally reaches us. We both look up suddenly; B jumps off me and we both scamper off the bed and frantically start straightening ourselves up when we realize that Giles is standing just outside the room, door wide open. I cautiously look over at Buffy and see her blushing profusely, I know exactly how she feels: like two teens who have just been caught doing the deed by their parents; it has to be the most awkward moment in the world. Buffy's looking down at her feet and my eyes are darting around the room, trying to look anywhere but at Giles or Buffy.

"Good, now that I finally have your attention." He pauses as we both shoot our eyes up at him. Fuck, how long has he been standing there? "Would you please change into something decent and make yourselves presentable; Willow and I are going out to lunch in half an hour and we would love your company."

Then Giles takes off his glasses and begins wiping them as he turns on his heel and walks down the hall. "What am I going to do with those two?" I hear him mutter disapprovingly as he walks off. No one's ever been able to make me feel ashamed like the Brits can, it must be a thing.

"C'mon B, let it out," I encourage when I see that she's about to bust a gut. Then she falls back onto the bed and starts giggling wildly. I shake my head in disbelief and look over at her when I hear the giggling soften, only to see that she's pulled my pillow over her face to muffle the giggles and to make it so I can't see her blushing. I chuckle softly and sit on the edge of the bed, caressing her ankle gently to get her to calm down. When the giggles finally subside, I hear her inhale deeply then let out a contented sigh into my pillow. She rolls over, face still in the pillow, and I move up the bed to lay level with her. She purrs appreciatively as I start to rub her back then she turns her face towards me, smiles brightly and leans in to kiss me gently.

"Mmm, I feel amazing," she whispers as she moves back from me, making me smile. "You're so beautiful, Faith," she states then kisses me again, gently but fully. No one can kiss like my B.

"We should probably do as the Watcher orders," I point out as I break the kiss. "Don't want him catching us again, he might ground us, or something."

Buffy rolls over again so she can stare at the ceiling as she chuckles and blushes lightly. I laugh at her as I get up and give her my hand to help her off the bed. "You're adorable when you blush, you know that B?" I ask as I pull her to me and kiss her again. I nibble on her bottom lip before taking it into my mouth and sucking on it.

"I love the way you kiss me," Buffy whispers into my ear after I pull her to me. Full body Slayer hug, there aint nothin' like it.

"That's good, 'cause I'm never gonna stop. It's my new favorite thing."

"I haven't been here for ages," Giles muses as we step into our new favorite pub.

As soon as we enter, the place goes completely silent. It's kinda nerve racking, as the only bar that's ever given us this kind of welcome was Willy's, and I really didn't think this was that kind of place, y'know? But soon I join B and Red with a shit eating grin as the room goes up in a cheer and we're rushed by several of the men sitting at the bar. I can vaguely make out Giles making his disapproving British tutting noise as at least a dozen men start offering to buy us drinks. Obviously we made quite the impression the other day with the arm wrestling.

Giles chuckles slightly as we finally sit down at a table in the back corner. "Somehow, I think I don't want to know."

"They just love us here is all," I shrug and get a playful shove from Buffy. "You wanna start something here B? 'Cause I'm all about a little PDA."

"Let's not," Giles cuts in before Buffy can answer. "As wonderful as it is that you two are finally…getting along, we came down here to discuss how things are going to go once we get back to LA. I realize that we don't know what the Queen wants yet, but putting that aside; what Willow managed to accomplish is huge. We have no idea how many slayers have been called, or how they'll react. We need to train new watchers, as well as the new slayers. Last night, while you were out, Willow and I began discussing the possibility of building a new Council. Now I know…"

"Hold up a second, G," I cut him off, knowing he could go on about this forever and stick me and B with some huge role in it before we ever mentioned our plan. "Me and B, we kinda talked about this this morning too."

I hesitate for a second, looking over at Buffy to make sure this is really what she wants. She smiles at me then turns back to Giles and Willow to continue where I left off. "We want to take a break, Giles. I'm really just getting back to where I was before Glory, and Faith just got out of jail. We need to work everything out between us and just have some us time before dealing with the girls. We have so much lost time to make up for, and we just need to get away from everything for a while."

"That's perfectly understandable," Giles says after thinking it over for a minute. He looks lovingly at Buffy, like he's finally realized that his daughter is all grown up, and he's extremely proud of how she's turned out. I wish I could have someone love me like that, like a daughter, someone who would be proud of what I've become. Buffy squeezes my hand comfortingly then turns to me.

"I'm so proud of everything you've done this year, Faith," she whispers to me with a small smile. "Helping Angel, then coming to Sunnydale to help me, never expecting anything from us, just wanted to help and make everything right again. It means so much to me, and I'm so proud of what you've become and I'm sure Giles is too, along with everybody else. Never doubt that, ok?"

I nod slowly as I feel a tear roll down my cheek, Buffy wipes it away with her thumb before kissing my other cheek. I really am the luckiest girl alive, I think I'm finally starting to get that.

"So, where are you guys thinking of going?" Will asks as we turn back to them.

I just shrug. "We're not sure," Buffy answers her. "We figured we'd wait until everything tonight, then see what options present themselves."

"That's great!" Will beams. "I can't wait to get back and tell Dawn about everything, she'll be so excited!"

"You mean you didn't tell her last night?" I ask, finally getting my voice back. "I figured as soon you got home last night, you'd be on the phone spilling your guts to Lil' D."

"I was going to wait til we got back," she squeaks. "I thought you'd want to tell everybody, but if you're not going back right away, I can tell them when I get back."

"Please don't say there's money on this," B whines and I just shake my head while Willow blushes. "Oh God, there is, isn't there."

"Maybe, but I swear, Andrew and Dawn started it!" she squeaks again. Those two really are gonna make great watchers, the way they can always manage to get into everybody's business without them knowing about it.

"As thrilling as all this is, let's order lunch. We don't exactly have all day, you know." I'm sure Giles just saved Red from a nervous melt down, he's so thoughtful like that. "After this, we'll have a few hours to kill, but I want you all back at the flat by five; preferably a little earlier, I know how you three get ready and we don't want to be late."

"Yeah, sure G, no big." Gotta cut the guy some slack, I'm sure dealing with the three of us gives him constant migraines. "I was thinking of taking B on a coffee date, I think I saw a Starbucks down the street. We need to talk about some stuff."

"Yes, brilliant idea. A couple of hours of alone time to get my thoughts together before tonight will be lovely." He's probably gonna head straight for his little Watcher's Diary to start working out the whole 'Slayers dating' thing. I'm sure this is all completely fascinating to him.


End file.
